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S1 E5

Jackie Chan Adventures · Season 1, Episode 5

“Project A, for Astral” quotes from Jackie Chan Adventures

9 quotes

“Project A, for Astral” · Season 1, Episode 5

In this episode: Jackie (4), Jade (4), Shendu (4), Ratso (2), Uncle (1), Finn (1), Valmont (1), Captain Black (1)

[as soon as Jackie uncovers the Sheep Talisman]

Jackie had a little lamb. [turns around as Shadowkhan appear, he stuffs the talisman in his pocket] It's not here! Can you believe it?

[after Jackie cheats death by escaping a Train which just fell off the tracks and into a gorge]

No way he's human.

Chan possesses yet another Talisman, while I have none?! You are weak, Valmont! And your men are fools!

That's it! I ain't taking no more lip from a statue! [proceeds to pull out a handgun]

I am no statue! You stand in the presence of a Demon Sorcerer! I once held dominion over a vast empire, but my subjects betrayed me. They cast a Chi spell which imprisoned me in this pitiful icon, where I have remained for 900 years! The twelve magic Talismans, from which I drew my power, were scattered to the winds.

Whoa.

You got jacked.

Acquisition of all the Talismans, will allow me to be free of my confinement, and walk the Earth once again.

At which point we will be rewarded the lost treasure of Ching Xi Hung. Well worth taking a little lip, don't you think?

One more thing! Stay awake! You break many antiques when you sleepwalk!

[yawning] I don't sleepwalk.

So you break my antiques for fun?!

JJade (Astral)

Boo! [waves hand at Jackie] Hello? Can't you guys see me? No? [flies behind Jackie] Then I guess you won't mind if I... touch your guts! [Laughing] Melvin World can't touch this! Woo-hoo!

MMMelvin Moose

Uh... Smile for the camera!

[in possession of Jade's body] Soon I shall devour your soul!

MMMelvin Moose

[gasp]

[running towards Captain Black and Jade, who is still possessed] Captain Black, get away from her!

Whoa there, Jackie!

[in possession of Jade's body] Grr!

She's not really Jade! The Talisman's magic has turned her into a sheep! [stuttering] Uh, no, I mean- Look, I'll prove it. [looks around, grabs the Melvin Moose mascot] What's the moose's name?! The name!

[in possession of Jade's body] Grr!

JJade (Astral)

Give you a hint, it's another word for wedgie.

You can't name it, can you?! You're evil! YOU'RE EVIL!

Oh! Who are you?

[in possession of Jade's body] Your executioner.

[Shendu runs up and attempts to fist-fight Jackie while in Jade's body - unsuccesfully - Jackie just holds Jade's head while her fists swing air]

Jade... stop. [she knocks away his hand on her head]

Ah, stop that or I... uh [stammers] will give you a spanking!

[in possession of Jade's body] As you wish, this is not my body.

[Shendu goes for a jump kick but Jackie simply grabs and performs a restaint hold against Jade's smaller body instead]

[in possession of Jade's body] [struggling to break from the hold] Weak little girl.

JJade (Astral)

[furrowed brows] I am not weak!

[Shendu-Jade finally is able to kick off from Jackie's body, doing a back flip in the process, and runs off toward a mirrored funhouse]

These quotes come from Wikiquote's Jackie Chan Adventures pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.