Clive Babineaux quotes from IZombie

Liv Moore

You're a Knicks fan?

Clive Babineaux

Yes. I've had this mug as long as you've known me. You're just now realizing I'm a fan.

Liv Moore

I'm just impressed you broadcast it. Nice job using your lottery pick this year on Kristaps Porzingis. [Liv coughs] Darko Milicic.

Clive Babineaux

We're really talking about basketball now? I caught you trying to put paperclips in here a couple week ago. You thought it was for knick-knacks.

Who chokes someone at basketball practice?

Liv Moore

Well, Latrell Sprewell does. A Knick, wasn't he?

Clive Babineaux

Not at the time.

Liv Moore

So, what? He turned off the cameras so his killer couldn't be identified? Think how easy it would be if there was video footage.

Ravi Chakrabarti

And the killer could have been wearing a t-shirt that inexplicably had his name and addresses written across his chest.

Liv Moore

And the address was, like, right across from the police station.

Ravi Chakrabarti

And the killer's just waiting calmly, already handcuffed, just sort of reciting his Miranda rights to himself.

Liv Moore

That would be so great. Now what are we going to do?

Clive Babineaux

[hesitates] I guess we earn our paychecks.

Clive Babineaux

Let me tell you what it looks like, Harry. You have a gambling problem. Racked up debts you couldn't pay. Telly was sent to break some bones, or worse, but Telly brought a hammer to a bat fight.

Liv Moore

[Liv whispers in Clive's ear] Nice touch, Clive. You got this.

Liv Moore

We've been pulling bullets out of Mr. Cole all day. We heard you were inches away.

Clive Babineaux

Yards away. Nothing heroic about not getting shot.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Well, did you soil yourself?

Clive Babineaux

No.

Ravi Chakrabarti

[Ravi smiles] Then it's heroic in my book.

Clive Babineaux

Is that a balloon animal?

Ravi Chakrabarti

[Ravi smiles] Ah, yeah, clown college. Uh, I'm available for parties.

Liv Moore

I saw a movie once set in a jungle prison. Prisoners wrote messages on the bottom of turtles' shells.

Clive Babineaux

[Clive puts on a pair of gloves, picking up the turtle] Ah... The things they never tell you that you'll be doing at the detective academy.

Dale Bozzio

[as Dale Bozzio walks into the room] Babineaux! You and that turtle get a room.

Clive Babineaux

I'm looking for messages.

Dale Bozzio

[Bozzio nods] I won't ask.

Clive Babineaux

We should probably go talk to Calvin.

Liv Moore

You look like me going to see NSYNC when I was 10.

Clive Babineaux

Liv, Major, this is Miss Bozzio from the FBI.

Dale Bozzio

Dale. It's nice to get a name. In my head you've been, umm, "Girl from the morgue who somehow makes Goth work."

Major Lilywhite

Oh, that is her native American name. Hi, I'm Barely Employed Arm Candy. No, I'm Major.

Dale Bozzio

(smiles) You certainly are.

Liv Moore

What kind of name is Syd Wicked?

Clive Babineaux

Stage name. He's a magician. You don't dress like that unless you do magic or you hate your parents. Apparently there's some big magician convention happening at this hotel all week.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Of course! PrestoFest. How did I miss that? I'm on the mailing list.

Clive Babineaux

You weren't performing when Syd was killed. You'd already disappeared off-stage for your closer.

Houdina

Guys, I didn't actually disappear. I hate to break this to you. Magic isn't real. You remember the cocktail waitress at the end of the show? The one you asked if she knew where I was? That was me. I had her costume on underneath mine.

Clive Babineaux

But I looked right at you.

Houdina

That's the thing about a magic trick. If it's done well, the answer's right in front of you.

Clive Babineaux

So how many magicians come to this?

Ravi Chakrabarti

PrestoFest every year? Oh, upwards of 200. Then you have your semi-professionals, your weekend wizards, and the occasional hypnotist. 'PrestoFest, come for the illusions and stay for the sleight of ha... '

Clive Babineaux

Looks like we're going to be interviewing a whole lot of magicians. Sometimes I really hate this job.

Clive Babineaux

Smoak and Meers?

Guilty.

Clive Babineaux

Got something to show you, Liv.

Liv Moore

[Liv holds up a few playing cards, whispering] Pick a card.

Clive Babineaux

No.

Clive Babineaux

And where were you at the time of the murder?

The Houdina show. I remember because she disappeared during her closer and she never came back for a bow. I waited around for 15 minutes. It was actually kind of punk rock.