It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia · Season 7, Episode 4
“Sweet Dee Gets Audited” · Season 7, Episode 4
In this episode: Dennis Reynolds (4), Frank Reynolds (3), Mac McDonald (2), Charlie Kelly (1), Sweet Dee Reynolds (1)
Well, if you had opened up the letters, you would understand that you're being audited.
Audited? Why? What are you talking about? I'm not scamming the government, if that's what you're saying.
Your license plate says "$CAMMIN".
Uh, no.
What do you mean no?
Yes.
Okay, let's talk about the limes, guys.
We'll keep emotion out of it.
Reason will prevail.
Reason will prevail!
[simultaneously] Reason will prevail!
I think the limes should be cut a bit thinner.
What the hell! Thin limes?! People will choke! People will die!
Charlie, Charlie, take emotion out of it--
Charlie's got a point! One of the cornerstones of Paddy's Pub is thick limes!
Yeah, don’t tell me-
I AM GONNA PUT MY THUMB THROUGH YOUR EYE, YOU LITTLE BITCH!!!!!
No, no, shhh. Stay calm, stay--hey, hey, hey. Look at me. Look at me. Stay calm with me, okay? Be unemotional. Let's--let's be democratic. Let’s put this thing to a vote.
A vote?
A vote solves everything in a democracy, does it not?
...Yes.
So, all for thinner limes, raise your hands. [Mac and Dennis raise hands] And all for thicker limes, raise your hands. [Frank and Charlie raise hands] Now there you go. That's a democracy in action. That's two votes against two votes. A perfect example of when democracy...has failed.
But I am gonna need a business card, 'cause I want to be able to hand that shit to people so they know that I am in a place of power.
It's not important.
It's important to me, Frank! And I know that what's important to you is money and power, but I don't want real power. Because with real power comes real responsibility, and I don't want any of that shit. I just want the money, and the illusion of power. And puss.
What?
Hell, I don't know, Frank. I don't know, man.
What? Tell me, tell me.
I need something. I mean, I got this, uh...this giant, gaping hole inside me. Oh, and I'm--I'm always trying to fill it with something. I like to call it my, uh, my God hole. And I think a lot of people in this world, they--they fill it with religion. But I don't believe in God.
But you want to fill it with pussy.
Yeah.
Wolf Cola, everyone. It's the right cola...for closure.
See, you've all been trying to convince the IRS that Dee's baby is alive. What you really need to be doing is convincing the IRS that Dee's baby is dead.
[Cut to a funeral for Dee's fake dead baby with bagpipes playing "Amazing Grace"]
This is dark.
Darkest thing we've ever done.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
