Invader Zim · Season 1
Mission accomplished, my Tallest! I have rid this solar system of Mars!
I thought you were trying to destroy the Earth.
Oh! Yes. That! You heard wrong! This time I was trying to get rid of Mars. You know, just a little warm up before I destroy the humans! Yeah, see, I'll do Earth next! I'm an unstoppable death machine, you know.
You have fallen for our clever trap!
He sure did pa!
You threw me in a sack!
Are we talkin' 'bout the same juuuice??
But enough philosophy.
But we haven't been talking about-
Let the hideous experiments begin!
I was lying.
We will begin by fusing you to this other human.
That's no human, that's a gopher!
Silence!
So, you're saying the humans are dumb, yet...tall. How is that even possible? How can anything tall be dumb?
[with his mouth full] Yeah, huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can you imagine, huh? Huh? Huh?
Don't say that name 'round here! He is the demon beast! We've lost three chicken cookers since he come around!
Chickenfoot ate them?
No, they got better jobs...but I hate that chicken beast! Get out! Get out now! Before you get a better job too!
The Chicky meal! It comes with a dirty chicken toy! The head comes off and can be used like a little grappling hook.
That's a...weird thing for a chicken to do.
[angrily, with a bowl of coleslaw right in front of him] I want my slaw!
You have your slaw, sir.
[angrily] I want my slaw!
You have your slaw, sir.
[angrily] I want my slaw!!!
You have your slaw, sir.
Chickenfoot, come back! You're not a freak, you're just stupid!
You mean Chickenfoot was a fraud all along?
This just proves that paranormal studies isn't a bunch of crazies believing in anything! We also disprove the frauds!
I'll bet this means Bigfoot is a fraud too!
And UFOs!
And hobos!
No wait! Those are real! Except the hobos. Wait, no. They're real. I...I guess. But- what's wrong with you people?!?
[The Tallest are examining the Megadoomer]
The Megadoomer Combat Stealth Mech!
I don't like it.
We didn't build it so you could like it. This one's going to Planet Meekrob to help Invader Tenn conquer it.
Well, I should like it.
[They move on to a room full of malfunctioning SIR units]
Malfunctioning SIR Units! Hey! These things are dangerous! Anyone using these things could really get hurt! [pauses] Send them all to Zim.
[gasps] But they'll destroy him!
[Both laugh uproariously]
Ah, let's go eat food.
And then, THEN, Dib says, "RAR!" in front of the whole class! Filthy slug. Mrs. Bitters called on ME, understand? Filthy squirmy Dib! SQUIRMY!
What are you talking about? Who are you?
I can't believe the things that H-H-HUMAN has done to me. ME! [makes angry noises] DIB! [more angry noises]
Why are you following me? I don't even go to your school!
And the- OH! He makes me so mad! The horrible puny brain meat child. With his little glasses and his [angry noises] HEAD!
[runs into house and shuts door]
My name is Dib with my pointy hair. POINTY HAIR! I eat food and have stuff!
[gasps] It's got chicken legs!
Yes...chicken legs. It also possesses a new generation distortion cloaking system. You know what that means?
Oooh... [flips out then stops]
That means it turns invisible!
I had no idea.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Invader Zim pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
