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SEASON 1

Invader Zim · Season 1

Invader Zim Season 1 quotes

265 quotes · page 12 of 18

S1 E11Bolognius Maximus

[Dib is in the bathroom washing his hands and then licks his arm]

Nope. Still delicious. No one should be this delicious! What's going on?! [sticks his hands in his coat pockets and feels a painful poke] AAH! [the tack falls off from his coat; picks it up and examines it, revealing it to be an alien device] Zim! [later sets up his computer in one of the stalls, hooks up a device to the laptop and sticks the tack into it, then presses a button on top of the device] Computer, analyze. Run a chemical check. Is there any unusual foreign substance on the tack?

DSDib's Computer

Analysis done. Unknown substance detected.

Then my skin sample. Does it contain the same substance?

DSDib's Computer

Yes. Substance detected in Dib cells.

So, a foreign DNA sequence! And Zim got it inside me by making me sit on that tack! Computer, where did this DNA originate from?

DSDib's Computer

Analyzing…

[The screen shows an images of a DNA, a cell, zoomed out to show a group of cells, and afterwards zooms out, showing a boy eating a bologna sandwich with bologna sausages in the background]

Bologna! Zim has introduced bologna DNA into my body?! Computer, have I absorbed the bologna?

DSDib's Computer

No. Subject Dib has been fused with subject Bologna.

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Zim enters his house and his lab, watching a screen of the bologna DNA reaction accelerating faster inside him after getting pricked by the same tack he used on Dib yesterday]

[horrified] No! The reaction is much quicker inside of me! It's worse than I imagined! Computer, quickly engineer a serum to reverse the effects of the mutagen!

CComputer

Command voice not recognized. Intruder present.

Intruder?! I am Zim! Run a scan to verify that I am Zim!

CComputer

Bio scan verification complete. Intruder is Bologna. [screen monitor shows an image of a bologna as Zim stares in horror]

[holding up a liquid beaker, now bloated and sausage-shaped] Finally! I think we've done it!

[snatches the beaker from Zim and chugs it down, then becomes bloated and sausage-shaped like Zim; enraged] Oh, you rotten alien monster!

This inferior equipment. Irken babies play with more advanced toys.

Hey, we wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for your stupid evil! This is all your fault! [chases after Zim, run-wobbling down the hallway; pushes him into a tube but ends up falling as well and they fall out of the tube, sending them outside the house; holding Zim down] Now what, Zim? What's your next plan?

[looks around, seeing all the dogs surrounding them, and thinks they have no choice] Let's run, screaming.

S1 E12Halloween Spectacular of Spooky Doom

Ms. Bitters?

[is startled into waking from a brief snooze in her desk chair] Yes, Zita?

I think Dib seems crazier than normal today. Can we use one of the crazy cards to send him to the crazy house for boys?

Each class only gets three cards a month. Are you sure you want to use one?

[Everyone looks at Dib who is twitching and falls to the floor.]

Yeah...

Where are we?

Some kind of alternate universe. It's based on my imagination somehow.

And you brought me here?!? You sickening, troublesome human!

[Zim activates his robot spider legs and approaches Dib threateningly]

Hey! The only way out is through my head! Anything happens to me and you're stuck here forever!

[Zim retracts his robot spider legs]

Curse yoooouuuu! Wait- I can still do stuff to your legs, right?

I guess, but- wait! No!

Gah! Curse yoooouuuu!

[A mystic escape portal is in Dib's own forehead]

There! That should be wide enough.

What about me? How do I get back?

Good question! ...But I don't care!

You're the only one who can help!

Help?!? You?!?

My dad won't let me use his equipment and I need to reverse the effects!

Help?!? You come to me, your greatest, most amazing enemy? Your future slave master and you ask for help?!?

You're the only other person with the technology to-

Be gone with you! I have had enough of your nonsense from your smelly mouth filled with... CORN!

...I haven't been eating corn.

LIAR!!!

I'm not here because I like you, Dib. I'm just here for your filthy gargantuan head!

OH! Now It's gargantuan!

NWNightmare Whitecoat Buck

Neck blinking boy! [The face on Nightmare Whitecoat Buck's shoulder pad comes alive and takes a bite out of the ice cream. Nightmare white coat Buck punches the face and it makes a high pitched yell. Nightmare white coat Buck takes a bite from the ice cream.] It's time to go!

[Nightmare Whitecoat Buck laughs. The straight-jacket creature runs over to Dib. It wraps itself around him.]

Where?

[Nightmare Dib steps into the light, revealing that he is also in a straight-jacket and has lobotomy scars.]

NDNightmare Dib

Right through your big head!

[The straight-jacket runs back to the worm platform. The cell closes behind them.]

MY HEAD'S NOT BIG!

S1 E13Mysterious Mysteries

HHost

This young man... [Zim enters] denies your accusation!

What's he doing here?! He's the alien!

I came to put a stop to all your alien talk... WHEN WILL THE LIES END?

These quotes come from Wikiquote's Invader Zim pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.