I was just with Delia and the others, and across the board they matched Sharon the drug dealer with Sharon the PTA mom. That little beauty mark is killing us.
Maintaining such a dim view of humanity, isn't it exhausting?
Mary
That's why they make energy drinks. [smirks] Look, Marshall, we hide murderers, smugglers, every crayon in the wise-guy wannabe box, but con-men: they don't just take your money, they rob you of your dignity. They leave you poor, wide-eyed and stupid on the side of the road, and if you think there's a chance in hell this son of a bitch can up and whistle a different tune, I've got a seaside condo in Beirut I'd like to tell you about.
Man... it was gonna be such a good day. Bust a bad guy, watch some crappy TV. Curl up in bed with a box of wine. Now... this is all screwed up, and I got a date with my ex-husband.
It was no big deal. We were young and stupid. Well, we were young and he was stupid. Anyway, he's in town for an air conditioning convention. Wow, there is no way to make that sound sexy. Whatever, we'll probably just go to Zinc, drink too much, and get in a fight, you know, for old times' sake.
They're not, and before you ask, I haven't seen the remote.
Mary
Ugh. What about a pillow? Have you seen an extra pillow? These beds suck. I swear to God, I think my mattress is made of wood. [looks up as Marshall appears in her doorway wearing an Amish style men's nightgown] Oh, no. What are you doing?! No, no, no, no, no! Eli was just being polite! He didn't expect you to actually wear them!
Mary, this isn't a trick question. It's not espionage. You know Marshall better than he knows himself, and you sit five feet away from him ten hours a day.
The Lithuanian operation is more than just money laundering. They're terrorists. We're talking murder, drug smuggling, prostitution, and that's just what they do to unwind. Now I've been tracking this group for seventeen months, and I'm telling you, they're a scourge. [gets hard looks from Mary and Marshall] The group. Not Lithuanians as a whole. [hurriedly explains] My mother's side is half Lithuanian! I'm not being a racist!
Mary
Huh! Next Mother's Day maybe you embroider that on a pillow!
That's not the point. The point is, Dr. Wolk said it's fine for me to fly in my first trimester. So how about you take care of your uterus, I'll take care of mine?
I don't know. The plan is I'd rather not be pregnant. But I'll do what I do, protect and relocate. There must be hundreds of couples in a ten-mile radius who'd kill for the shot at 3:00 A.M. feedings, and I'm just the girl to give it to them.
No, I'm not sure of anything, except I wanna keep doing my job and I don't want anyone else to know. And if you keep treating me like some sort of wounded koala, someone's gonna figure it out.
I know, but it's been so long, and Peter was saying something about a statute of limitations.
Mary
Look, guys like dad don't change. The picture you're going to find is of a guy who held up banks, ditched me and mom and a baby in a crib, and then got a new family and bailed on them, too. I mean, are you sensing a pattern here?
You never know. Peter says it takes some people a long time to grow into their authentic selves.
Mary
Okay, first of all, don't say authentic selves. Second, you're getting married, so you're all overflowing with perspective and forgiveness. Forgiveness is for people who deserve it, and dad is still out there doing God knows what, so he's not one of those people, you know. He's just the guy in the picture.
In Plain Sight · 332 quotes
Mary
