iCarly · Season 1
[A Rabbi walks through the school halls]
There's Spencer with a fake beard!
[Sam fires a paint ball at the rabbi]
OY!
Rabbi Goldman!
[to Gibby] That was a real rabbi!
I didn't know! I don't have cable!
Puckett, you just earned yourself triple detention. Come along, rabbi.
How my hair look, Sam?
You look good, Gib.
What the yuck?!
Carly, don't leave!
[referring to Mrs. Benson] SHE'S BEATING ME WITH YOUR UNDERWEAR!
Remember two years ago when I dated that guy Eric Moseby–- kid with the big nose?
Sure, Noseby Moseby.
Uh-huh. And remember how he tried to get me to be his girlfriend for like six months and I kept saying, "Get away from me, or I'll kill you"? And then he bought me a subscription to the Bacons of the World Club, and then boom, I thought I was in love with the guy?
I'm listening.
I was never in love with him; I was in love with the foreign bacon that kept showing up at my door every month...like a beautiful greasy dream.
I doubt that bacon can make you think you're in love with someone.
You ever had Bolivian bacon?
No.
It changes you.
You just can't stand the idea of Carly and me as a couple.
Very true, it makes me wanna puke up blood.
Do you see a girl in there?
No. Why, did you order one?
YEAH, BABY!!! MAMA WINS!!! I AM THE ULTIMATE ASSASSIN!!!
[to Freddie] Yeah, it's cute and geeky at the same time. It's cukey.
I just said, "Oh."
No, you said it like you were at a raffle, and you won a prize, and then you found out that the prize was just a can of soup, so you go, "Oh."
You know I like you way better than most soups.
[Freddie retreats after Carly kisses him]
Wow... you seriously don't want to kiss me. Why?
'Cause ... I'm just bacon!
You're bacon?
Foreign bacon!
Did that taco truck hit you in your brain?!
Well, I'm standing here with my lips all glossed up, and you're treating me like I'm your icky cousin Amanda.
Amanda is disgusting.
Note: This section features quotes exclusive to the uncut version of iSaved Your Life, which features 7 minutes of footage that was removed due to television time constraints. As such, all the quotes in the version edited for broadcast can also be found in this version by going to the iSaved Your Life section above.
Okay, I dare Sam to get arrested.
Nope, uh-uh.
Been there, done that.
Mom, what are you spraying me with?
An anti-bacterial body spray for boys.
Where do you find this stuff?
At sprayyourchildren.com.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's iCarly pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
