iCarly quotes

Spencer

Uh, Chief Donker...

Don't talk to me!

Spencer

I tried so hard to put the fire out myself, but it just kept getting bigger and bigger and... [Chief Donker pushes him down] What are you doing? Why are you... You're pushing me... I... Oh... What is he... Ah! I see it. Okay.

Carly

Chief Donker, we really appreciate you coming here. Again.

Thanks. You're a nice girl. I'll miss you.

Carly

Yeah, well-wait. What do you mean you'll miss me?

I mean, the Fire Department is done with you people.

Spencer

(tries to get up) Done? I don't understan-

GET BACK DOWN! (he does)

Spencer

Ah!

Carly

Um, can you explain...

Do you know how many times your brother has accidentally started fires?

Carly

I don't know. Many.

18!

Spencer

17!

What about this one?!

Spencer

Oh, yeah, 18, if you count this one.

Come on everybody, we're done here.

Carly

But--

Forever.

Carly

But you're the Fire Department, You can't not come here if we have a fire!

You watch us not come here.

Carly

No, but... Would you... No just please, what... I'm an honor student! [Chief Donker slams the door. Carly gets upset at Spencer when he tries to get up again] Get back down!

Spencer

Aw!

Carly

Can you help me? No one else is available.

Sure.

Carly

Awesome.

Carly

So. [Lightly turns his head towards her] Sooo. [Trying to be flirty]

Yeah?

Carly

What'cha doing tomorrow night?

There's a Doctor Who marathon on TV.

Carly

And?

I'm gonna watch it?

Carly

Oh. Well, I wouldn't mind watching a little Doctor Foo.

Who.

Carly

Me.

No, Doctor Who.

Carly

I dunno, you brought it up.

I'm confused.

Carly

Well, maybe that's cuz you don't have a girlfriend. [Does weird hand movements]

Carly

[Goes up to Freddie] Dude, hey.

Freddie

What's up?

Carly

I have been talking to that nerdy, cute salesboy for 20 minutes and he has no clue that I am flirting with him; and I've been flirting my butt off.

Freddie

What do you want me to do about it?

Carly

You're a nerd, give me advice.

Freddie

I will not help you flirt with some- [notices Sam in her new uniform] Ahh. [Shocked] What is?!-

Sam

Momma got a job.

Carly

So, see anything wrong with it?

I'm not sure yet.

Carly

Kay, well keep checking. I really need that laptop fixed. Specially since I have no boyfriend. And nothing to do tomorrow night. [puts on lip gloss]

Hey.

Carly

Yeah?!

Did you get the extended warranty?

Carly

I don't know!

Carly

Okay, listen.

What's up?

Carly

I think you're cute and you're obviously smart and you seem harmless, so I'd like to hang out with you, unless you think I'm disgusting or something.

Oh no, I didn't realize. I'm just really shy with girls.

Carly

Maybe we can fix that, aye? Aye?

Huh?

Carly

Just come over to my place tomorrow night. We'll watch your Doctor Foo show or Battle Star Ceneticat, whatever you want.

Okay.

Carly

Thank you.

Freddie

Sam's my boss now?!

Yep.

Sam

Back to work, Fredbag.

Freddie

No. This is wrong! I am a computer expert! I know SO MUCH!

Sam

We sorta dated for a while.

Freddie

She? She is LAZY, and a CRIMINAL, and a nuisance, and she has TERRIBLE table manners!

Sam

He's still in love with me. It's kinda sad.

Freddie

And if you think that she is a good employee who deserves to be MY BOSS, then YOU my friend are a TERRIBLE MANAGER and you don't deserve to have me work here!

Okay, you're fired.

Freddie

But- how-- Fine. I'll leave. But I am keeping this Pear store shirt.

Kevin, get the shirt.

Freddie

Kevin, come on, you're my friend.... Kevin! Kevin, I shared my sandwich with you one time! Kevin! ...This isn't over!

Why? What's left?

Freddie

...Nothing, it's over. [walks off]

Sam

[runs after him] Dude! ...Don't you think you were a little rough on him?

...Nah, who cares.

Sam

Yeah. ...I'll be right back.

I'll never see you again, will I?

Sam

Nope.

Carly

[looking at her PearPhone and pacing around] Uh, Freddie said he was almost done three hours ago. Why isn't he back with the... [looks at Sam filling butter in her buttersock] What is that?

Sam

I'm changing the butter in my butter sock.

Carly

Oh. [points to the plate on the counter] What's this green stuff?

Sam

The old butter.

Carly

[looking disgusted] Awhh! Why can't you take that outside... or?

Thank you, Internet, for giving us iCarly.

Spencer

[after exiting the cab alongside Carly, Sam, Freddie, and Gibby] MAN, I LOVE NEW YORK!

Gibby

[to Carly] How many times do you want me to say I'm sorry?

Carly

500,000.

Gibby

Fine. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...

Freddie

[to Gibby] Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, STOP IT!

Sam

[to Carly] Freddie and Gibby are in a band.

Carly

Oh my God.

Carly

[to T-Bo] You're T-banned!

T-Bo

[to Carly] The deal was you stay at the Benson's all night.

Carly

No. You win. She's a nightmare. You can come over to our place any time you want.

T-Bo

[touched] Aw. Now, that's what I like to hear.

T-Bo

Hey. [Carly comes back out] I'll see you at the Groovy Smoothie.

Carly

[touched] Thanks.