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S7 E23

How I Met Your Mother · Season 7, Episode 23

“The Magician's Code” quotes from How I Met Your Mother

4 quotes

“The Magician's Code” · Season 7, Episode 23

In this episode: Barney Stinson (2), Ted Mosby (1), Marshall Eriksen (1), Lily Aldrin (1), Victoria (1), Quinn (1)

[Barney tries to ask the bus driver to drive to the hospital where Lily is giving birth]

Sir, this man is having a baby tonight. Instead of going to St Marcus Hospital, we're going to Buffalo - and I've seen women from there, the city's aptly named. Look, I'm a screw-up; I'm having something special with this girl Quinn and I ruined it. But this guy [gestures to Marshall], he's done everything right. He's been loving and devoting since he was 18 years old. There are a few truly great people on this planet and he is one of them. He deserves to be at the birth of his son. So what do you say?

DDriver

Unless it's an emergency, I'm not allowed to stop so sit down, watch Cocoon 2, and shut up!

[Marshall finally appears in Lily's room as baby is about to be delivered]

In return for him getting me here, I may have promised Barney that our son's middle name will be - wait for it -

I can't wait. What is the name?

The name is Wait For It.

[screams while pushing] AAGHH....THAT IS THE COOLEST MIDDLE NAME OF ALL TIME!!!

[At the JFK passenger terminal, Barney and Quinn are asked about the luggage]

It's mine. Did you have to replace the luggage too?

By the time we land again you'll be wearing hot pink stilettos.

SSecurity Officer

[sees box in bag] What's that?

Yeah, what is that?

It's a magic box. You see, I'm something of a magician.

SSecurity Officer

Open the box, sir.

[laughs] I can't do that. [K9 barks]

S2Security Officer #2

Sir, are there drugs in that box?

Oh no, he's probably barking because of the explosives. [officers draw firearms]

Oh my God.

SSecurity Officer

Tell us what's in the box right now!

I can't. Magician's Code.

[Ted drives with Victoria riding shotgun]

Where shall we go? Your place? My place? We could go on my honeymoon. [laughs] Just kidding...although it is paid for.

I know where we should go.

Where?

Your wedding. I'm taking you back.

I don't understand. I thought you wanted this.

I do want this. I've thought about you so many times, what might have been...but I got left at the altar and it nearly killed me. You're someone's fiancee, and I have to respect that. So let's hit a motel, jam in a quickie and get you back to your wedding. It's the right thing to do.

Some part of me needed to hear you say that running away together wasn't an option, and now that I know that, it's like I'm sobering up. Is there any way we can pretend that this never happened?

[softly] This never happened.

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