“Big Days” quotes from How I Met Your Mother

Ted

You can't call dibs on a girl that I've been sitting here thinking about eventually talking to at some point!

Barney

You never called dibs.

Ted

Dibs were implied!

Barney

"Implied" dibs?

Ted

Yeah.

Barney

Ted, you are spitting on the grave of Sir Walter Dibs, inventor of the dib. It was 1652, the SS Dibs was lost at sea-

Ted

I don't have time for a fake history lesson, so I'll keep [points pen at Barney] this simple: You go over there and talk to that girl, I'll see you in court.

Barney

Who's gonna represent you? Dibs-on-Marshall's-my-lawyer!

Lily

You know what, Marshall, why don't you have a baby with your Dad?

Marshall

Oh okay, Lily. Why don't you have a baby with your butt?

Lily

What?

Marshall

AAARGH! [stands up] I can't think straight! Why do you have to wear that shirt? [referring to Lily's shirt showing much cleavage] This is NOT HOW I THOUGHT THIS NIGHT WAS GOING TO GO!

Barney

It's a sad day in New York, Ted, a sad day indeed. You know what I saw on my way in here? A girl in a sweater. And you know what that means: the season of exposed skin is over, exactly! Gone are the tank-tops, Ted. Gone are the cute little skirts. Gone are the sundresses - the sundresses, Ted! I don't think I can make it another eight months with no sundresses.

Ted

Barney, I really - I have to grade these papers.

Barney

I'm sorry, I'll let you work... But first, a riddle. What piece of women's attire, most stokes a man's desire?

Ted

A sundress.

Barney

Correct! What lightweight outfit, pink or white, makes the front of my slacks abnormally tight?

Ted

I really have to get this done.

Barney

Of course, of course. [pause] Sundress, by the way.