TV show quotes
You know as well as I do, Frank, I'm facing four felony charges... and I don't think I have to tell you what's waiting for me upstate. I put away a few people in my day. Let's face it, it's a death sentence up there. So what's to lose? My virginity?
[regarding her client, Heidel] Where is his paperwork?
Just about to get started.
Was he Mirandized?
Counselor, would you give the guy a break?
Was he or was he not Mirandized?
Yes, I was!
Button up! Any evidence of theft on or about his person?
Yes and no.
"Yes and no?"
What happened was, I think I saw him swallow some rings and things.
You see, what-
Don't say a word.
Uh, the captain is looking into a court order for stomach X-rays. In the meantime, we're just sitting around, waiting to see what comes down the pike, as they say.
Can I talk to you? Up until about a month ago I was dating a real quality woman. I mean, no dirtbag. We didn't see eye-to-eye on a couple of things, so we split up. So I'm seeing her tonight. [holds out his shaking hands] I'm like this.
[who is by profession a burglar] You know something? I myself can't seem to sustain a relationship. It's the business that we're in. We work nights, holidays, weekends...how long can we expect a woman to put up with that kind of thing?
[on the phone with a potential blind date for the wedding] Um, I don't want to sound shallow or anything, but what exactly do you look like? Oh! No, I'm blond, too... yeah... you sound swell...I mean, super...[giggles] Um, how tall are you? Oh. Well, look, maybe you have a pair of shoes with Cuban heels?
[describing the neighbor lady with whom he just spent the night] I mean, she is a very... uh, worldly woman.
Well, then she'd certainly appreciate this, Howard. You know, last Sunday Grace and I took her four-wheeler up to the country and went nude... horseback riding. [chuckles] I'm still chafed.
Ma'am, I'm sorry. It's just that I don't think a woman as fine-looking as you should be walking all alone in the middle of the night. Not around here. I'm a policeman, you know.
Yeah, I know. [thinks about it] Well, like you said, it is a four-block walk. Lots of creeps out there.
Besides me, right?
Yeah.
Why is it that you come on to everyone like you just spent the afternoon shoveling horse manure?
Good evening, Ma'am.
Who are you, my mother?
Closer than that, man, I'm your partner.
You know, I'm ashamed to tell Sandra how I spend my days... standing around in alleys, walking around streets trying to control a bunch of crazy people, half of which are named after past presidents... Johnson, Jackson, Cleveland, Roosevelt...
I swear, Frank, I get more support from my pantyhose than I do from the cops in this garbage dump of a city!
[about Sandra Pauley] She is the finest woman I've ever met in my life! Bright, educated... you know she's goin' for her PH.D in English literature... that refined! She's the only woman I know that can speak French to me without me wanting to punch her out. If I was the less secure type, I'd wonder what she saw in me.
You know, getting mugged is the best thing that's happened to me since our divorce, Frank.
[on the phone] Pa, I'm laughing because I don't believe what I'm hearing... alright, but I want you to calm down long enough to tell my why you want to put my mother in a mental institution? What do you mean you're in love with another woman? You're eighty-three years old! Where are you going so fast with another woman? That's crazy! You can't keep up with a sixty-eight year-old! I mean, how often can you... no kidding, that often? What's mom been feeding you?
[to Sandra Pauley, about Renko] Well, now that I've finally met you, let me ask you a question. What does a beautiful woman like you see in this guy? Other than maybe feeling sorry for him, which we all naturally do!
[addressing the station about using the phones] If you feel you must misdemeanor, let's use the pay phones, huh?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Hill Street Blues pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
