Let's be careful out there.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I'm sending in Goldblume, see if we can open communication, diffuse the situation. It's by the book, Howard.
[snorts] Goldblume! Goldblume couldn't diffuse a roll of kosher toilet paper.
But then I met Cindy. Overnight, my life turned around!
[sniffling, drying her eyes from crying] Oh, yeah? All, that's terrific, I'm glad to hear that! Are you thinking of getting re-married?
As soon as she graduates.
She's a college student?
High school. She's a graduating senior.
[to the just-restrained Angel Dust-using suspect] Take it easy, baby, take it easy. Nobody's gonna hurt you, you hear me? We're gonna take you to the hospital, now. You understand what I'm saying to you? Huh? [to another restraining officer] Don't think I don't know who was coppin' a cheap feel durin' the fight, huh?
Look at this! You got the address wrong on the warrant.
Captain, we never shoulda stopped doing these in pencil.
...so when the man understandably objects to being arrested, Earps here hits him with a board!
EEarps
We had to, boss. We couldn't get his attention.
What is that stuff?
Oh, that's my tobacco. It's imported from Indonesia.
Great aroma.
You might start thinking about Indonesia, Frank. Some little dugout up in the bamboo. If I were you, I'd consider it.
Why is that, Howard?
Judas Priest, Frank! You've got the Commander-in-Chief on the front burner and you're standing around here with your pants around your support hose!
[answering his phone] Hill Street, Detective Belker... hi, Ma... I'm booking a pick-pocket... Ma, you're not having a heart attack, so why don't you just give it to me straight...chuckles "Standing in the window with binoculars?" Why is that such a bad thing? So what if he's a peeping tom, the man is 83 years old! All he's got left is his peep! … Ma…Ma…Ma! I am not arresting my own father, and that's that!
I need you, Bates. You've got tight end size, with hands like a wide receiver, and a body weight to stand up against the stock of an M-16.
[tearfully] Do I look like a tight end to you?
Well... I have noticed a certain muscularity in that vicinity.
[to Malibu] Hey, tell me the truth. You think I should get rid of my Buick? My girlfriend thinks I ought to get into something flashier. See, we got the senior prom coming up...
[leading Bates into the men's room] The walls have ears.
They also have urinals.
Suffice to say it is not John LaRue's innocence or guilt that is in question. The issue is how best to preserve what is already dangerously tainted bacon!
I have this problem. It's of a male-female nature, if you know what I mean.
Phil, if you're talking about an occasional... dysfunction... it's nothing to worry about, especially with someone like Cindy where I'm sure you're under a great deal of pressure to perform.
No, no, no. My relationship with Cindy is more domestic. We do a lot of cooking together.
Then, the problem's not sex?
My problem is that I met this other woman... she's a lot older than Cindy.
Well, most of us are.
I'm basically of the monogamous persuasion.
What I don't understand is how [Macafee] was able to handle two wives emotionally.
When you couldn't handle one?
[sarcastically] How do you suppose you and Fay would get along under the same roof?
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