Red team quotes from Hell's Kitchen

[holds the ticket] On order, four covers of table 32. Don't wait for me. Appetizers fire one special table, two side scallops, two risotto. Entrée two Arctic char, two wellington.

Yes chef.

Two wellington?

Hey hey, ladies! That was flat.

Yes chef.

Vanessa, call back the order!

We have special table side, we have two [looks clueless] fuck. [rings a buzzer]

I called this out ten seconds ago. Entrées what were they, Vanessa?

They were one, well-- fuck [looks confused and clueless once again] (begins attempted interview and looks still confused)

I am so sorry did not hear that.

Listen, concentrate, get your head down.

Yes chef.

On order, table 30, two snapper, two tuna, two wellington!

Yes, chef!

Kristin, call back that order!

Two special?

Call back that six order! Quiet, everybody!

Two special table side.

Kristin!

Yes, chef?

Call back the order!

Two special, two tableside, two risotto... ah! (looks terribly confused) Two... two wellington. [smiles nervously]

Funny right?

It's not funny. I'm just...focusing on a hundred things right now.

(to Kristin) This is not 'funny. I'VE HAD ENOUGH!

Sorry, chef.

I'm done with you! [calls the entire team] Come over, you!

(interview) Kristin, stop standing there like [acts funny] "Uh-duh-duh-duh-duh".

(to Sous-chef Christina) Christina, write that ticket on her fucking back.

Christina Wilson

Kristin!

[to Meese as she walks to the pass] Behind you.

Christina Wilson

Get up here!

Yes, chef.

Christina Wilson

Turn around. [writes the orders on Kristin's back]

(interview) Oh, my God, what is happening right now? Why are you writing on my chef's coat?

Christina Wilson

Do not let her forget what's on that table.

Yes, chef.

Christina Wilson

Chef wants you now. Pick it the fuck up! You guys can thank the blue team later for finishing service.

[stops to call the entire team at the pantry] Stand there, all of you! Unbelievable! Tonight, you've got completely dominated in service. Get upstairs and think of two individuals who your team would be stronger without. Is that clear?

Yes chef.

GET OUT!

Let’s jump to the chef's table, please! Two tuna, one wellington!

Yes, chef!

Two tuna, two minutes!

Working!

Meese, how long for the wellie garnish?

Ah!

Just give me a time, Meese! (interview) It is very hard to run the garnish station when you do not communicate! [to Meese] Garnish, talk to me! [to Gordon] Walking with wellington.

(Arctic) char is in, right? Walking with tuna!

Where’s the garnish?!

I don’t know, chef.

What is she (Meese) doing?!

The wellington garnish is up, isn’t it?

(interview) Bitch, keep control of your station! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

What are you doing? What are you doing?!

I’m sorry.

God, I’m trying to help you!

Meese!

Yes, chef.

I don’t want my guests eating on an installment plan!

Kris Jenner

[laughing] He did not just say that!