Hazbin Hotel · Season 1
[The Exorcist Angels] can be killed.
Yeah, that knife lady, Camaro Carfight, killed one.
Wait, you knew about this?
Uh, yeah. I told Boss about it months ago.
He what?!
What? They say insane shit all the time. How was I supposed to know this one was true?
Bank accounts are a scam created by the shadow government.
See?
Boo! Bring Rosie back!
Susan?
Susan.
Sorry. Uh, okay, uh, my name's Charlie, and... well, I run this hotel with my part... well someone and-- Wait, let me start over. Angels are coming to kill us all and we need help defending our realm. So we, uh... we need your help-- With your assistance, we can make a stand for-- [singing] I...I have a dream, and I--
Boo! Get off the stage, you blueblood bitch! Boo! We don't give a shit about some hotel! Leave before I eat those big-ass eyes of yours! Boo! Get off! Where's the showmanship?! Where's all the finesse?! Fucking mediocre!
FUCK YOU, YOU OLD BITCH!!!!!!!!!
Adam: First man, next to die.
Who the fuck are you?
Alastor. Pleasure to be meeting you, quite a pleasure. I'm about to end your fucking life.
Nice voice. Don't you know jazz is for PUSSIES?! You really think you can take me on? A mortal soul is no match for me, edgelord.
You should know better than anyone what a soul can accomplish when they take charge of their own fate.
Oh-ho, you think you're tough shit, huh?
Tougher than you. [laughs] You lack discipline, control. And worst? You're sloppy.
And you're— [is set upon by Alastor's minions] F-Fuck you, you red piece of— Too much fucking red— SHUT UP!
Poetry.
I'm gonna wipe that shit-eating grin off your face cause radio is FUCKING DEAD!!
What just happened? Fuck.
YES! Fuck you, Alastor! This is better than sex!
Have to disagree with you, there. Radio's not dead, but it is ending this broadcast.
Bye, bitch.
NO! Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you! PUSSY!
[sees Lucifer saved her from Adam] Dad?
Sorry I wasn't here sooner, sweetie.
Okay, seriously, how many of you freaks do I have to fight?
Oh, I'm the only one that matters. See, you messed with my daughter, and now, I am going to FUCK YOU!
Well, this just got interesting.
It's "fuck you up".
Wait, what'd I say?
You come at me and my daughter?! Don't forget YOU'RE IN MY HOUSE, BITCH!
Whoa, whoa! Dad...he's had enough.
Alright. [to Adam] How's mercy taste, you little bitch?
No. You don't get to end this. I'm fucking Adam! I'm the fucking man, and you're just some fucking clown or something! I STARTED EVERYTHING ON EARTH! ALL OF MANKIND CAME FROM THESE FUCKING NUTS! You all should be worshipping me! You ungrateful, disgusting, FUCKING LOSERS!
Say it, Charlie. Look into the camera and tell everyone out there that you lost and I'm the most powerful sinner in Hell. Not Lilith, not Alastor, not the Vee's, me.
Never!
Oh, the drama. You know what? Maybe you should say it, Charlie. Stroke my friend's ego, he needs it.
What? Alastor, why?
Ah-ah-ah! C'mon, Charlie. Do me this one simple favor.
Don't make me.
Go on. Tell everyone he's the strongest.
Vox is the strongest sinner in Hell.
[Sinners all over Hell cheer at the news]
OH YEAH!!! Look, Princess! Hell's finally listening to you!
Ho-oh, Charlie. You have no idea what you've done for me. All I can say is, thank you so much for sucking so much at everything you try to do. Just...Thank you.
You absolute IDIOT!
Fuck is going on?! Get back in your chair!
You swore to not lay your hands on Charlie, but you just couldn't help yourself, could you? You fucking creep. You're always doing that, and I HATE IT!
What, this? This–this doesn't count! I didn't hurt her!
I didn't say not to hurt her, you moron. I said, you're not to lay your hands on her and you did. You pathetic amateur.
Fucking wordplays? You tricked me with a fucking technicality? Seriously?
Hmm, it worked, didn't it? Baby, I'm a Demon in Hell, it's kind of our thing. You're nothing, if not predictable.
FUCK YOU! Doesn't matter that you're free, I'll just beat your ass back into submission! I am more powerful than I've ever been!
Oh, don't sell yourself short. You're the most powerful sinner in Hell, now. I have to thank you for that. Your little power grab helped to break another chain that's been holding me back for quite some time. And now, we can finally settle this once and for all. Finally, a fight with you that might be a challenge. Your screams will make for a satisfying broadcast.
BROADCAST THIS, FUCKER!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Hazbin Hotel pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
