Sir Pentious quotes from Hazbin Hotel

Angel Dust

Oh, harder, daddy.

Sir Pentious

[gasp] Son?

Angel Dust

So, how'd it go?

Vaggie

[sighs] Not a single recruit.

Angel Dust

Yeah, well, who'd want ta not use their last days fucking an' fightin'?

Sir Pentious

Well, hello, my dear- Waitwaitwait, I come in peace!

Vaggie

What are you doing here?!

Charlie Morningstar

Vaggie, what's the problem- [gasps] Oh! Hello again!

Sir Pentious

I didn't come looking for a fight. I, uh, I heard that you're helping people. People who want...to be better?

Charlie Morningstar

You heard right! Welcome to our home of healing, our resort of restoration, our-

Angel Dust

Are you fuckin' nuts? This chump was tryin' to kill us, like, literally six hours ago. And now you wanna bring him in here, to live with us?

Charlie Morningstar

Absolutely! This place is about second chances. And who deserves one more than this...slithery... slippery... special little man?

Angel Dust

[to Vaggie] Aren't you supposed to protect this place?

Vaggie

[sighs] I... guess he's not much of a threat without the war machine or even with the war machine.

Charlie Morningstar

Ohh, thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou! Sir Pentious, welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!

Sir Pentious

Ohh, no, darling, thank you. You won't regret this.

Angel Dust

I give ya a week, tops.

Charlie Morningstar

So- this is the bar, and the bartender. This is the curtain, and this is the new wall, after you broke the last one, hehe. And, oh, this is-

Vaggie

Babe, you don't have to show him every detail.

Charlie Morningstar

Sorry, I'm just so excited to have our first real guest.

Angel Dust

Uh, what the Hell am I, then?

Charlie Morningstar

Well, you're an important part of our family here, Angel. But, you, erm, uh...

Vaggie

Constantly make us look bad, sexually harrass the staff, and have literally never once tried to improve.

Charlie Morningstar

What she means is, it's just nice to have someone interested, for once. Over here, we have our maid, Niffty.

Ooo, the bad boy is back. Never leave me again.

Charlie Morningstar

We're about 80% sure she's harmless. And over here, we have- Oh! Uh, Alastor, our gracious facility manager. You've met our newest guest, Sir Pentious? [laughs]

Alastor

Ah, yes. You're the one who ruined my coat. I definitely remember you now.

Charlie Morningstar

Well, I guess this is a great time for your first lesson. Ahem: How To Apologize. The first step to becoming a better person, is to admit when you are wrong. Why don't you give it a try?

Sir Pentious

Yes, um... Mr., um, Radio Demon, sir. Please forgive me for attacking you and ruining your very lovely coat. Um... here. [hands Alastor the shred of coat he tore off previously]

Alastor

Oho. Not many people have been able to take even this much off of me. It must have meant quite a lot to you. [he incinerates it]

Vaggie

[The Exorcist Angels] can be killed.

Yeah, that knife lady, Camaro Carfight, killed one.

Vaggie

Wait, you knew about this?

Uh, yeah. I told Boss about it months ago.

Vaggie

He what?!

Sir Pentious

What? They say insane shit all the time. How was I supposed to know this one was true?

Bank accounts are a scam created by the shadow government.

Sir Pentious

See?