Steve McGarrett quotes from Hawaii Five-0

So what?

Steve

You gonna tell me what that was about?

I already told you, it was, uh, it was private. [Steve glares at him] All right with the Navy SEAL death stare. What, are you gonna do? You gonna waterboard me until I tell you about my private phone call?

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[Steve McGarrett has finally met his mother - and he wants some answers]

Steve

Yeah, why don't we start with Shelburne.

Shelburne was the code name the agency gave me. I'm s -I'm sorry.

Steve

Agency? What agency?

Before I met your father, I worked for an intelligence program that reported directly to the Pentagon.

Steve

You were a spy?

Yes.

Steve

So, all those years that I thought you were a a schoolteacher, that was just a cover. And, um, were me and Mary just a cover, too?

Shelburne was way before you and Mary.

Steve

How'd you meet Wo Fat's father?

He was an assignment.

Steve

So, you were ordered to kill him.

It was a little more complicated than that.

Steve

Well, we got some time, so why don't you why don't you uncomplicate it?

Okay. Like you, I served my country, but after I got married, I left the agency because I wanted to be a mother. Unfortunately, I could change my name, but not my past.

Steve

That's why you pretended to be dead?

When I made that choice, I knew that my life would never be the same. I knew that I would have to give up the only thing that meant anything to me- my family.

Steve

So, why'd you do it, Doris? If that's even your real name.

It was the name I was born with, and the name the name I went back to the day I met your father. [indignant at son's tone] And since when does a son call his mother by her first name?

Steve

Since you failed to be one, 20 years ago.

I didn't see any other options, Steve. [pause] Wo Fat was looking for the person who murdered his father and he was willing to kill anyone who stood in his way.

Steve

So you faked your own death?!?

Yeah, I did what I had to do to protect my family.

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[looks at Steve] On the phone you said you were bringing Shelburne back.

Steve

Yeah, this is Shelburne. [points to his mom]

[greets Danny] You can call me Mom, like someone should.

"Mom"? Whose mom?

Steve

That'd be mine.

Doris McGarrett.

Danny Williams. You know, uh, for a woman who died in a car bomb you are remarkably well put together.

Thank you, I'll take that as a compliment.

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So, uh, your mom faked her own death and she's Shelburne. Well, if you didn't have mommy issues before this––

Steve

That's cute.

I try.

Steve

Come on, I'll introduce you. Doris, this is Lieutenant Rollins. She's on leave from Naval Intelligence.

He refuses to call me Mom.

Nice to meet you, ma'am.

Lieutenant Rollins, I told my son I didn't really need anyone to look out for me.

Oh, he's just being overprotective, ma'am. It's a SEAL thing, and please call me Catherine.

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[Danny meets Steve just after he saw off Doris]

Danny Williams

You okay? Your mother said that she exchanged gunfire with Wo Fat, right?

Steve

Yeah, right before he escaped out the window. Why?

Crime lab just finished processing the safe house. Found evidence of only one weapon being fired in that bedroom. Ballistics matched it to the gun that Catherine gave Doris.

Steve

All right? All three slugs were pulled out of the floor.

So either your mother is a terrible shot, or she deliberately tried not to shoot Wo Fat.

Steve

You're saying you think she let him get away?

No, I'm asking: why didn't she kill him when she had the chance?

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[August March is unmasked over killing Angela Branson and an indirect role in a lithograph heist]

Danny Williams

Any idea how your prints ended up on the stolen artwork? I mean, gloves. That's what I would have done. I mean, I figure an old pro like you would know to wear gloves.

Steve McGarrett

Thirty years in prison made you rusty, March.

AMAugust March

Maybe it's just old age.

McGarrett

Maybe.

MMarch

I'm not going back to jail.

McGarrett

I don't think you have a choice.

MMarch

What are my options?

McGarrett

I don't think you understand. You-you don't have any options.

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Steve

I told you, if you wanna catch anything today, Danny, we gotta trawl.

No, no, no. Trawling is not fishing. That is you just driving around on a boat, just like you driving my car.

Steve

Time out. I thought the mission today was to get you your first tuna.

Why does everything have to be a mission?!

Steve

The goal is to help you catch your ahi.

[interrupts Steve] There's no goal. There's no mission. We are just fishing. What that means is, we relax, we have a couple of laughs. Maybe we catch a fish, maybe we do not.

Steve

All right. Well, this right here, this is called sitting on a boat and not catching anything. Just so you know.

Fine. That's where the beer comes in. [goes to the cooler to get two bottles of beer]

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Steve

Save your energy. I'm gonna tow us, ok?

How are you gonna tow us? We're miles away from land.

Steve

Just relax Danny, I've done it before.

Oh you've done it before. I see, 'cause you like this, huh? [Steve smirks at Danny ranting] This is fun for you, you enjoy this, this is a challenge for you, right? That skills test. "Be all you can be" and all that crap?!

Steve

[deadpan] That's the Army.

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[spots a shark behind Steve] Right behind you!! Get in the boat!! Get back in the boat! [Steve climbs back onto the inflatable dinghy]

Steve

It's a dinghy.

It's a dinghy, huh? Even in the face of death you are annoying.

Steve

Woah, that's a tiger shark, man.

Tiger shark.

Steve

Yeah

Well, no big deal then right? Have you seen Shark Week? I don't wanna be like Shark Week, all right?! If that thing gets near you, you punch it in the nose, trust me.

Steve

I'm not gonna punch it in the nose.

That's what you're supposed to do! Otherwise it eats your hand. I'm telling you. I know this stuff.

Steve

I'm not gonna disrespect this animal by provoking it.

Don't get all "island" on me now, ok?

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[The US Coast Guard catches Danny and Steve at a yacht with a dead body aboard]

Danny Williams

What else wrong do you think could happen? Maybe, if we're lucky, they'll have a trial at sea and they'll make us walk the plank.

Steve

Just relax.

Hey, there ain't going to be too many more relaxes, okay?

Steve

Look at it like this: You're going to have a great story to tell Grace one day.

And the moral of that story is this: Never go deep-sea fishing with a Navy SEAL. No, no, scratch that-never go fishing with you.

Steve

Should've used you for bait.

UCUS Coast Guard Officer

Sorry for the misunderstanding, Commander McGarrett, Detective Williams. Member of your team verified your credentials.

Well, next time I get forced into the ocean at gunpoint, I'll be sure to have my credentials.

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[Steve is woken up by a sound from downstairs and Catherine is now awake because of him. Steve gets his gun.]

Steve

[sees Catherine taking the baseball bat] What do you think you're doing?

There's somebody downstairs.

Steve

Which is why you're gonna stay up here where it's safe.

[scoffs] Oh, don't be a caveman. I'm coming with you.

Steve

[sternly] No. You're not.

Then you're coming with me. [tiptoes out of the room]

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[Steve and Catherine enter the kitchen]

Steve

[points his gun at the "intruder"] Don't move! ["intruder" turns around and it's Doris] Mom?

DMDoris McGarrett

Hi, honey.

Steve

What are you doing?

Uh, making eggs.

Steve

No, I mean, what are you doing here?

Stop playing with your gun and come have breakfast. Do you want orange juice? [Steve is speechless] [to Catherine] Good morning, Lieutenant Rollins. I, uh, hope I wasn't interrupting anything.

Steve

[to Catherine] I told you it was safer upstairs.

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So what, she breaks into your house and just starts cooking?

Steve

Yeah, pretty much.

That's very strange. Although, she is a McGarrett after all.