TV QuotesDatabase
4 SEASONS

TV show quotes

Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law quotes

80 quotes · page 6 of 6

Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law
All S1 S2 S3 S4

S4Juror in Court

[alone in his kitchen] I have to call this number after five P.M. to see if it is necessary to report for Jury Duty... Who am I talking to?

Please say no, please say no...

[answering the phone] If your number is below two thousand three hundred fifty eight...

You don't have to report tomorrow.

Damn!

I'm not finished.

Oh.

If your number is divisible by fourteen, you don't have to report.

Damn! [starts doing long division]

If two trains left your number at the same time headed in opposite directions, you don't have to report.

Damn!

If your number is two thousand three hundred fifty nine or above, you don't have to report.

YES!!

Unless it is two thousand three hundred fifty nine, and then you do! WE'LL SEE YOU AT 5:45 AM, SUCKERRRR!!!

$27.90? But this meal voucher they gave us is only good for three dollars.

EDElliott the Deadly Duplicator

(behind the counter) Ah-HA-ha-hahaha! Yes! YES! The mighty Birdman humbled by a chimichanga! Wait, that thing is $27.90? (clerk nods) Are you kidding me?! That's bullshit! He doesn't even get a fountain drink! Gimme that! (snatches voucher and duplicates it) There, now you owe him $8.10. How's that feel, huh?(Elliot exits cafe, turns left, another Elliot comes from right side of the door and jumps on counter) And what the fuck is chipotle anyway?!

S4The Death of Harvey

(numbers popping up) Case #398567703296...

...7228489273124...

...483395639462...

...8.

BBirdgirl

Who is it?!

Nitron.

And he's not alone; I gave him the keys to the Death-Con 12 (12).

How could you?!

Hey, nobody's perfekt. That's spelled with a K.

No matter how many times you say that, it still gets me ro- Oh, my God! I just did the math! By "Daddy", you don't mean bend me over your knee and call the fire department because you have a flamer down there; you mean Daddy! Judy! Daughter, is it you?

EIEveryone in the Background

Yes!

I can't believe you were trying to get into your own father's pants. Now that's just sick. And me helpless, (pointing down) with the one eye.

Harvey Birdman: Attorney General

Peter Potamus... Phil Ken Sebben.

Mr. President what an honor.

Listen, I'm wondering if you'd be interested in bringing your brand of populous shadily financed wisdom here to D.C. to join my administration.

Can I still speak truth to power, except when truth becomes inconvenient to power?

Get out here you!

These quotes come from Wikiquote's Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.