[Discovering Joker in archival CCTV footage] Way to trust your gut Barbara Gordon Junior.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[Enters office] Hey babe, um...
Hey.
What's with the red wig?
I'm expecting the IRS this week. Gotta throw them off their game.
[Arrives to Poison Ivy attempting to hijack the time-sphere from a moving transport-truck] Listen, I need to talk to you.
Oh, man. People don't just show up at their partner's work like this.
Yeah, Harley. Imagine if the Supreme Court got Frenched on the bench.
I would not have come if it wasn't super important.
Can we just talk about this later?
I don't think we can.
Baby, are you trying to stop me from stealing the time-sphere?
Geez! There's a time-ball on this truck?!
Yes, I am a big deal super-villain! And sometime I steal time-spheres, okay?
[Flying by] ABST. Always be stealing...
Enough with the fucking acronyms! Baby, I'm doing all this because I'm building something! So, when we're like, 60 years old and still hot, we can sip wine in our chateau and have plenty of time to talk.
Harley, what are you doing? Fuck! She is in no state to be messing with the space-time continuum. BRB.
Her acronyms are so much cooler.
Hey, baby. Baby, look at me. You do not know how to operate a fucking time-sphere.
It's intuitive!
What?
TTerra
Ugh! drama.
TSTime-sphere notifier voice
Mind the gap.
[Stepping out of time-sphere to see a war-ravaged Gotham street] Oh, cake dick.
Damn it.
What year did you take us to?
Hmm? Interesting. It may not be as intuitive as I thought, which is on the time-sphere.
What? Hey, Harley. Where are you going? We gotta get back to out time, okay?
Oh, what? Sorry. Do you have a hard-out?
No, I don't. I.. at least I... I don't think so. Let me check. You know what? There's no service. Fuckin' A. Argh! We shouldn't be here! This looks like a goddamn apocalypse!
Well, guess what? There's an apocalypse happening in my brain. The emotional chickens came home and they are roasting, Ivy!
Hey, shh! Let's not bring out whatever cursed beings...!
Cluck-cluck, Ivy. The chickens are fucking...! [militarized aerial drones approach and open fire on them]
Harley, get back to the time-sphere!
This is literally the most flammable closet in all of Gotham. Hairspray, gunpowder, snacks made with highly-combustible ingredients. I'm lucky I didn't explode!
Fuck, we were gone a few days and Snyderverse people took over?
Can't you use your powers to explode us out of here?
I'm famously known for fires, not explosions. It's a subtle but very important distinction.
Mama! Not my fingers! I need these to pleasure Nora... with my calligraphy! And to continue working as a semi-famous villain in Gotham!
CCaptain Cold
Pretty sure we all have concussions, but I slept great. Should we get bagels?
Hey! Pasta-maker makers beware. I have arrived!
Oh, you men! You drain our titties when you're baby boys and now you make us run your companies? Get out!
These people and their fucking naps!
Your eggs are faulty, I will 'splode them all!
Please don't make me laugh. My butthole is way too relaxed.
FThe Flash
[after being kicked in the groin] Right in the Kid Flashes!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Harley Quinn pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.