Welcome to the grand re-opening of the Mystery Shack! We're here to celebrate the defeat of that skunk Li'l Gideon.
CCrowd
Boo!
Please, please. Boo harder.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
PAgent Powers
My name is Agent Powers, and this is Agent Trigger. We're here to investigate reports of mysterious activity in this town.
TAgent Trigger
[pointing at Stan] Activity!
"Mysterious activity?" At the Mystery Shack? You must be joking.
PAgent Powers
I assure you, I am not. I was born with a rare disorder that prevents me from experiencing humor.
[laughs nervously]
PAgent Powers
I don't understand that sound you're making with your mouth.
This karaoke machine has all the best songs - "We Built This Township on Rock and Roll," "Danger Lane to Highway Town," [gasps] "Taking Over Midnight" by Ampersand-dra!
Listen kid, you do not want to hear this voice sing. Trust me.
Grunkle Stan, karaoke isn't about sounding good. It's about sounding terrible together.
Dipper, what is the one thing I asked you not to do tonight?
Raise the dead.
And what did you do?
Raise the dead.
[fighting zombies] All right, you undead jerks, you ready to die twice?! The only wrinkly monster who harasses my family is ME!
[Dipper and Wendy watch a cheesy old horror film]
GGirl
What do we do, Chadley? I thought they were dead.
BBoy
Far worse, Trixandra. They're NEARLY ALMOST DEAD BUT NOT QUITE!
[Title Screen: "NEARLY ALMOST DEAD BUT NOT QUITE!"]
Man, these movies are a lot less scary when you've actually fought real zombies.
They're slow. Just power-walk away from them.
How much do you want to bet the guy dies first?
[On the TV...]
CChadley
Ahhh! My face is being eaten a lot!
[Dipper and Wendy laugh]
Chadley ain't pretty no more.
Oh, man. Was this place built in the past or the future?
Yeah, this room is way creepy.
Not as creepy as Dipper's internet history.
[Mabel and Soos wait for Wendy and Dipper to emerge from another room]
They sure are taking their time in there.
Didn't Dipper say something about a monster?
Oh, no. I thought he was joking.
You know Dipper's jokes are terrible!
[After Dipper, Mabel, Wendy and Soos trap the Shape Shifter back in the freezer]
SSShape Shifter
You think you're so clever, don't you, Dipper? But you have no idea what you're up against. You will never find the author! If you keep digging, you'll meet a fate worse than you can imagine - and this will be the last form you ever take!
[It turns into Dipper and does a terrified scream, becoming frozen in that shape]
[to Dipper] Good luck sleeping tonight.
Listen Dipper, I'm like super flattered, but... I'm too old for you. I mean you know that, right?
Mabel said confessing would make me feel better.
Well how do you feel?
Anxious. Scared. Kinda itchy.
Dude, don't be itchy man. Let me tell you something. This summer was super boring until you showed up. I have more fun with you than like practically anybody else. And if you ever stopped being my friend... I would like throw myself into the Bottomless Pit!
Who wants Stan-cakes? They're like pancakes, but they've probably got some of my hair in them.
Pass.
[Meeting the Lilliputtians]
Uh, I dunno, guys. I'm not sure I wanna get involved in your weird mini-blood feud.
Pst, Mabel. This is perfect. These guys control the course. Just tell them you'll give the sticker to whichever group does a better job of helping us win.
I'm not sure, Dipper. I wanna beat Pacifica, but doesn't this seem like... cheating?
Pacifica's rich, Mabel. She's cheating at life.
NMr. Northwest
Now remember, Pacifica, winning is everything.
NMrs. Northwest
Oh, and looks. Winning and looks.
Dad, I've been practicing for, like, a million hours. I got this. You'll stay and watch, right?
NMr. Northwest
Pacifica, darling, we have a party to go to. We'll just read about your victory in the paper. Oh, and whatever happens, just remember one thing. You're a Northwest. Don't lose.
[to Sergei] How much you wanna bet they're no-shows?
[Lights come on, revealing Mabel and Dipper]
Looking for someone?
[sarcastic] Waiting in the dark? Not creepy at all.
[As Stan, Soos, Dipper and Mabel take Pacifica home in their car]
Hey, I found two tacos.
You're allowed to eat in the car?
Yeah. The car is where secret surprise snacks happen. Want one?
Oh, I'm not supposed to take handouts.
"Handouts"? It's called sharing. You do know what sharing is, right?
"Sha... shahring"?
Just take it.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gravity Falls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.