Ain't it swell?!
Ain't it red?!
Gonna scratch a big itch on my head!
All S1
S1Cone Head
[A snake sings along]
Fingernails
Down my scales!
[With chorus of animals]
Everything's swollen and
Blotchy for me and for
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!!!
S1Cousin Larry of the Jungle
[Growls] I never get this angry.
I don't get tired of new shoes as fast as I'm gettin' tired of Cousin Larry.
Shhh. Larry's winning sleeping contest.
[Larry is sleeping on George's back]
LLarry
[Snores] Win. [Snores] Win.
George, we hate to say this, but...
UAUrsula, Ape, and Magnolia
Cousin Larry has to go!
Shhh! We can't kick out George's family!
Yes, we can. In fact, let's have a contest to see how far out we can kick him.
But Larry gave us the picnic!
Don't you see? He's a win-a-holic! He only picks games he can't lose!
I hate to say this, George, but I'm in complete agreement.
Ha! Ha! See?
No, George, with Magnolia.
Boy. Ape changes mind pretty quick.
I always agreed with Magnolia. I don't like him.
None of us do.
Also, we believe he cheats.
[George gasps and gets up, causing Larry to fall off his back, making him sleep on the floor]
[Indignant] George will sit on forgetting rock now, until he forgets what Ape just said! [Walks off]
LLarry
[Snores] Win.
[George leaves the treehouse, but comes back seconds later]
I forget. Where is forgetting rock?
So, George sat upon the forgetting rock, and he forgot. He forgot, and forgot, until he couldn't remember what he was forgetting.
[George hears heavy breathing behind him. He sees two large yetis standing behind him. One of them roars at George]
Hmm. Big hairy beast is growling, but George forgets what he's supposed to do. Oh, yeah. [Screams]
[The yeti grabs George by the arm and shows him a photograph of Larry]
Y1Yeti #1
Have you seen this guy anywhere?
George's cousin Larry, yeah. He's staying with me and Ape, but Ape was mean to him. [Realizes] Uh-oh. George was supposed to forget that! Forget... [the yetis pick George up, causing him to scream]
Y2Yeti #2
Beat Larry! Beat Larry!
Hey, wait! George won't let you hurt Larry!
[The yetis put George down]
Y1Yeti #1
We won't hurt Larry. We yeti are scary, but peaceful creatures. We do not fight with our fists. We fight by eating pies. You see, we yeti take great pride in our pie-eating, and each spring, we win our annual pie-gobbling hoedown. For centuries, yetis have won. This year, we were robbed! We are absolutely convinced that Larry cheated at...
Yeah?
Y1Yeti #1
Uh... I forgot.
[At the pie-eating contest...]
George, I didn't want to tell you this, because I didn't think you'd believe me. Larry made a bet that you would lose.
What?
[Ape points up at Larry sitting in the bleachers, happily eating a pie]
Larry not sick! Larry... cheating?
I bet my room in the treehouse that you can do without cheating, while he can only do with fake stomachs and pie-eating dogs in his pants. I believe in you, George.
George won't let Ape down. For once, George going to beat lying, cheating, faking Larry. LET'S DO THIS!!!
[After George has won the pie-eating contest...]
Thank you yetis, for this honor. And now, George would like to give this trophy...
LLarry
To your loving, much-more-deserving cousin?
...to the first yeti to chase Cousin Larry out of the jungle!
LLarry
Yeah! [Realizes] What?!
[Larry sees the two yetis growling at him. Larry runs away from the angry yetis, carrying his trophy case with him]
LLarry
[Screams] Win! [Screams]
George! That was amazing! To celebrate, let's go out to dinner!
[George suddenly becomes nauseous upon hearing what Magnolia said, after having eaten so many pies]
Uh-oh. I think... I think I'm gonna be...
MMangolia
Get a garbage can!
Get a garbage truck!
[George wobbles back and forth, until he goes over to the side, and vomits. Ursula, Ape, and Mangolia are traumatized with what they are seeing. The scene fades to them sitting on the forgetting rock to forget what they saw]
UAUrsula, Ape, and Mangolia
Forget... Forget... Forget...
S1FrankenGeorge
Once upon a midnight jungle
While George snored through tooth and tongu-le
Ape was far too scared for napping
When suddenly, there came a tapping.
[Ape cowers in his hammock under his comic book as he hears crashing]
George? George! GEORGE!
[George leaps up with fright]
I didn't do it, I didn't do it!
[George falls on the ground with a crash, yelling in pain. George gets up as Ape hides behind him]
Hmm.
[George scans the treehouse, and sees a large bag of peanut snacks shaking. George lifts up the bag, revealing a baby rhinoceros eating out of a dog bowl]
That rhino's eating Shep's food!
[Picks up the bowl] That's not Shep's! That's George's bag of Trunk-A-Munch! Bad rhino! [The rhino burps] You want food, you go get your own! Get OUT!!!
[The rhino whines as it makes big sad eyes]
[Refusing] Uh-uh! Too late for puppy eyes!
[The rhino whimpers and leaves the treehouse]
[Seeing Dr. Towel Scott and Witch Doctor have transformed into zombies] Franken-Dads!
S1Rebel Without a Claw
[George has received a message strapped to a coconut. Ape reads it]
"George, meet me at Howie's. Signed, a hungry predator. Come alone?"
[George looks at Ape, a bit worried. Later, George finds himself in a meeting with the predators, standing in-between a hyena and a lion. Tiger slams his smoothie down on the counter]
TTiger
I know your whole "save the tiny animals" thing is your thing, but us big guys are tired of getting pounded just for doin' our thing.
Maybe big guys should be nicer to small guys. Talk to them. Bunnies can be more than lunch, you know.
TTiger
Hey. We gotta eat.
Hmm... Okay. George is thinking.
[George starts flapping his lips as he thinks]
TTiger
Another smoothie, Howie. This is gonna take a while.
[Ursula and Magnolia are lounging outside Ursula's treehouse]
[Sighs] You know what the greatest feeling in the world is?
Findin' a three-for-one bathin' suit sale no one knows about and gettin' all the best stuff before your friends get there?
I was gonna say "helping the small and defenseless".
Oh.
I'm just worried that George will be mad that we didn't think he could fix the problem himself.
[Sips lemonade] All we did was give a few critters some self-esteem lessons. That's just helping. A little.
Yeah, right. He probably won't even notice.
Okay. But if there was a three-for-one sale, you would tell me, right?
[George is holding a meeting for the predators and prey. Ape bangs a coconut against the stand like a gavel]
[Clears throat] Uh, George wanted to get an opinion on what to plant in new vegetable garden. So, what should it be? Vicious prey? Wimpy predators? Any ideas?
TTiger
[Waves his hand] How about eggplants?
[The predators murmur with agreement]
Okay, then, we'll go with predators. Meeting over.
RRabbit
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on! Why are we gonna go with what they say? Because they're bigger? No! We say "carrots"!
[Gasps] Hey, predators. Are you gonna let them boss you around?
TTiger
No. We are the main vegetable-eaters around here. So, we suggest eggplants.
RRabbit
Well, maybe we don't want you eatin' any more of our vegetables!
TTiger
Your vegetables?!
RRabbit
[Bounces up, but is unable to stay up to Tiger's height] Your ve...?! [Bounces again] Your ve...?!
[Moves the rabbit on a stool] Here you go, little fella.
RRabbit
Your vegetables?! Why don't you find somethin' else to eat, huh?!
[Tiger starts to get angry, as the other predators start grinning evilly and licking their chops]
TTiger
[Growling] Maybe I WILL. [Roars]
RRabbit
[Nervously] Oops. Hehe. Um... Put up your dukes? [Chuckles] RUN!!!
[All the prey animals run away as the predators start chasing them down again]
[Sighs] Natural order makes me happy.
[George starts to run after the predators, but Ursula grabs him by his suspender]
Where are you going?
George has to save little guy!
[The weasel screams as he runs away from Tiger, but George pounces on him, and ties him up with his tail]
Bad kitty!
TTiger
There's just no pleasin' that guy.
S1Stripy Pony
[George has returned Magnolia's bicycle in pieces]
[Devastated] MY BABY!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BABY?! [Sobs]
[Mangolia gives an anguished wail that echoes throughout the jungle. Ursula and Ape swing in as Magnolia bawls]
What happened?!
[Points at George] GEORGE BORROWED MY BIKE!!!
[Chuckles nervously]
UAUrsula and Ape
Oh...
Her name was Gloria, and she was the most glorious bike a girl ever had! [Runs away crying]
Don't worry! George will make it up to you! [Accidentally steps on a piece of the bike] Promise!
S1George Skips Breakfast
I told you my hair would get frizzy. You know what's really good?
Yes! FOOD... is really good! Especially when it's been sitting in front of me for an hour and a half!
[Ape begins to go crazy. He tears his bib off, then starts tearing his fur off until he's bald]
That... feels better. Magnolia... you were saying?
Oh, this is ridiculous!
Look, we promised George we'd wait. [Gasps] What if he's fallen down a well somewhere?
[The gang imagines George walking through the jungle. He jumps over a flower, and loses his balance]
Whoops!
[George falls down a well, screaming, before he hits the bottom]
And he's hurt?!
[The bucket on the well's winch snaps off, falls, and hits George on the head]
Ow!
And what if he can't remember who he is?!
I'm the king of Spain!
He could be trapped down there FOREVER!
And then we'd never eat! Let's go!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's George of the Jungle pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.