Stacey quotes from Gavin & Stacey

Stacey

I know it's white, right. But who can honestly say, hand on heart, they're a virgin these days?

Pam

Okay, darling, this isn't gonna hurt a bit...

Stacey

OW!

Stacey

I need your advice, I do.

Go for it.

Stacey

Should I tell Gav about the other engagements? Or should I just leave it? Thing is, things are going so lush and if I tell him I might just wreck everything. And it's not that big a deal is it?

That depends. This reminds me of a very similar situation I was in with my second husband, Clive. I was faced with a dilemma, whether to lie, or not to lie. And I chose to tell the truth.

Stacey

And what happened?

He died. Firing squad. Terrible way to go Stace and I wouldn't like to see it happen to you. Smugglers we were. If it weren't for my relationship with John Prescott I'd still be in that jail right now. So yeah, in answer to your question, I'd say no, don't tell him.

Stacey

You are coming to this wedding fair, aren't you?

Bryn

I can't wait. I was so excited last night, I couldn't get to sleep till half-past ten!

How long have you known about this?

Gavin

I just found out tonight.

Bullshit!

Gavin

I did.

Mick

He did, we all found out tonight.

Smithy

Oh, right. So, everyone found out before me?

Bryn

No, I found out at the exact same time as you, Smithy.

I bet she knew.

Stacey

I only found out at the wedding!

Smithy

That was over three weeks ago!

Gavin

Oh, come on mate!

Smithy

Don't 'come on' me, mate! This is all your fault!

How?!

Smithy

You and her, ringing each other and texting, arranging to meet up in Leicester Square! (Kicks table and moves to Gavin) I didn't even wanna go that day! If you hadn't dragged me there, none of this would have happened!

It didn't happen that day.

Smithy

What?

It happened at Pam and Mick's.

When you went off, in the garden.

Smithy

That?! That doesn't count, that was rubbish!

I know.

Pam

Have you had your breakfast then?

Stacey

Well, sort of. I had a brunch I did. Oh I got up so late cos i set the alarm for ten but I didn't get up till gone eleven and I thought well I'm too early for lunch and I'm too late for breakfast, so I just had a banana. But if anything that made me more hungry. So I ended up having a sandwich, some cereal and a yogurt, which is brunch innit? So I rang my mum and I said I've just had my first ever brunch.

Pam

I'm not being funny Stacey, but you wanna get a life. What you said just now was really boring.

Stacey

Gav, I need to talk to you.

Gavin

Yeah?

Stacey

On our own?

Gavin

Yeah.

Smithy

So, I have to go, do I? Hideous.

How'd it go with Gav, alright?

Stacey

I think it's over, Ness.

You'd be a fool to let that one go. He's cracking. Even if he is a bit short.

Right then, Nessa. We're going to need you down on all fours.

No worries. That's a home from home for me that, love.

And me.

Stacey

Me as well.