Mal Reynolds quotes from Firefly

You have to finish it, lad. [Mal doesn't move] You have to finish it. For a man to lay beaten, yet breathing? It makes him a coward.

Inara

It's humiliation.

Mal

It would be humiliating, having to lie there while the better man refuses to spill your blood. Mercy is the mark of a great man.

Mal

Guess I'm just a good man.

Mal

Well, I'm all right.

Inara

Are you in pain?

Mal

Absolutely. I got stabbed, you know, right here. [shows bandaged wound in his side]

Inara

[squeamishly] Eh— I saw.

Mal

Don't care much for fancy parties. Too rough.

Inara

It wasn't entirely a disaster.

Mal

I got stabbed! Right here!

Inara

You also lined up exciting new crime.

Mal

Don't take his offer.

Inara

What?

Mal

Don't do it. 'Cause in the case that it happens, that means he's a fella who killed me, and I don't like fellas who kill me, not in general. I said before I don't have call to stop you, and that's true. Anyways, don't.

Mal

So, she's added cussing and hurling-about of things to her repertoire. She really is a prodigy.

Simon

It's just a bad day.

Mal

No, a "bad day" is when someone's yellin' spooks the cattle. Understand? You ever see cattle stampede when they got no place to run? It's kind of like a… a meat grinder. And it'll lose us half the herd.

Simon

She hasn't gone anywhere near the cattle.

Mal

No, but in case you hadn't noticed, her voice kinda carries. We're two miles above ground and they can probably hear her down there. Soon as we unload, she can holler until our ears bleed—although I would take it as a kindness if she didn't.

River

The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems.

Mal

See, morbid and creepifying, I got no problem with, long as she does it quiet-like.

Jayne

About time you broke in them fancy shoes. Hyah! Get along!

Mal

You know, they walk just as easy if you lead 'em.

Jayne

I like smackin' 'em.

Zoe

Next time we smuggle stock, let's make it something smaller.

Wash

Yeah, we should start dealing in those black-market beagles.

River

They weren't cows inside. They were waiting to be, but they forgot. Now they see sky, and they remember what they are.

Mal

Is it bad that what she said made perfect sense to me?

Mal

This is the last time. Last time with cows. Hey, there was an idea regarding beagles? They have smallish droppings?

Zoe

I believe so, sir. Also, your disreputable men are here.

Mal

Better go take their money.

Book

That's... that's quite a lot of blood, isn't it?

Mal

Just means you ain't dead.

Book

'Fraid I might be needing a preacher.

Mal

That's good. You just lie there and be ironical.

Zoe

You sanguine about the kind of reception we're apt to receive on an Alliance ship, Cap'n?

Mal

Absolutely. [pauses] What's "sanguine" mean?

Zoe

"Sanguine". Hopeful. Plus, point of interest: it also means "bloody".

Mal

Well, that pretty much covers all the options, don't it?

Mal

They let us come, and they let us go. What kind of ident card gets us that kind of reception and send-off?

Book

I am a Shepherd. Folks like a man of God.

Mal

No, they don't. Men of God make everyone feel guilty and judged.

Simon

She has done nothing to you! If she dies tonight, it won't be God's will that killed her! It'll be you! Your lunacy, your... ignorance!

Simon

Light it.

River

Time to go.

Mal

Well, look at this! Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?

Zoe

Big damn heroes, sir.

Mal

Ain't we just? [Moves to front of crowd, covers them with shotgun.] Sorry to interrupt, folks, but y'all got something that belongs to us, and we'd like it back.

This is a holy cleansing. You cannot think to thwart God's will.

Mal

Y'all see the man hanging out of the spaceship with the really big gun? I'm not saying you weren't easy to find. [But] It was kinda out of our way, and he didn't want to come in the first place. Man's lookin' to kill some folk. So really, it's his will y'all should worry about thwarting.

Mal

Gotta say, Doctor, your talent for alienatin' folks is near miraculous.

Simon

Yes, I'm very proud.

Mal

Cut her down!

The girl is a witch.

Mal

Yeah, but she's our witch. [cocks gun] So cut her the hell down.

Simon

So, finally a decent wound on this ship, and I miss out. I'm sorry.

Mal

Well, you were busy trying to get yourself lit on fire. It happens.

Simon

Captain, why did you come back for us?

Mal

You're on my crew.

Simon

Yeah, but you don't even like me. Why'd you come back?

Mal

You're on my crew. Why're we still talking about this?

You gonna give us what's due us. And every damn thing else on that boat. And I think maybe you gonna give me a little one-on-one time with the missus.

Jayne

Oh, I think you might wanna reconsider that last part. See, I married me a powerful ugly creature.

Mal

How can you say that? How can you shame me in front of new people?

Jayne

If I could make you prettier I would!

Mal

You are not the man I met a year ago!

Mal

Now think real hard. You been bird-doggin' this township awhile now. They wouldn't mind a corpse of you. Now, you can luxuriate in a nice jail cell, but if your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you.

Inara

So… explain to me again why Zoe wasn't in the dress?

Mal

Tactics, woman. Needed her in the back. Besides, them soft cotton dresses feel kinda nice. There's a whole… airflow.

Inara

And you'd know that because…?

Mal

You can't open the book of my life and jump in the middle. Like woman, I am a mystery.

Inara

[laughs] Best keep it that way. I withdraw the question.