Ka D'Argo quotes from Farscape

D'Argo

The bad news is that you are married and you must endure as a statue for eighty cycles in a strange world.

Crichton

What's the good news?

D'Argo

Chiana and I are having fantastic sex.

D'Argo

[to statue John] Do you feel any pain?

Crichton

No, but I'd really like to pick my nose.

D'Argo

[chuckling] He remains without a sense of humor. It's good to hear your voice, John.

Crichton

Yours too. Hey can I say hi to Chiana?

D'Argo

[passes the speaker earpiece to her] Chiana.

Chiana

You look great in bronze.

Crichton

You look great in pink. Brings out your eyes.

Crichton

He's here and... um, he blames me. He blames me for killing Scorpious. So I've been... I've been trying... trying to... uh...

D'Argo

Trying to what, John?!

D'Argo... kill me. D'Argo, please... kill me.

D'Argo

I can' feel ma tongue.

Stark

Whose faul' izzat?

D'Argo

Oh, fwell you.

D'Argo

Stay back... Stay back or I swear I will kill you.

I don't think that's very polite.

Crichton

You been lyin' to your daddy boy, and you know you shouldn't lie to your daddy! It's gonna stop! Now, who’s your daddy? C’mon, you know who your daddy is. Who’s your daddy? D’Argo, tell him who his daddy is.

D'Argo

I’m your daddy.

Crichton

That's right.

D'Argo

Well at least now he's out of your nose.

Crichton

Hair.

D'Argo

Yes, that's what I meant, at least now he's out of your nose hair.

Chiana

What if I have to piss?

D'Argo

Well then, we will all urinate together.

Shoot him, you're the warrior, just shoot him now!

D'Argo

With what? My nose?

D'Argo

Well, to use one of your expressions, you're gonna have to take one for the team.

Crichton

Technically, I've taken two!

D'Argo

And now it's time for the triple.

You may not have been Vella's intellectual equal...

D'Argo

Well I am now. She's a rock.

Crichton

You burn your old people?

D'Argo

No, it just sounded like a good idea.

D'Argo

See plant, kill plant

Crichton

That's got to be on the Luxan coat of arms.

Aeryn

D'Argo, you should study this. [sings along with the television] "L, m, n, o, p." Just a few of their words. Just in case.

D'Argo

Chiana has already told me a few words. 'Yes', 'no', 'bite me', that's all I need to know.

Sikozu

What about Scorpius?

Chiana

What about him?

Sikozu

Well, he might have been captured!

Chiana

Or killed.

D’Argo

We can only wish.