John Robert Crichton quotes from Farscape

Aeryn Sun

It's my duty, it's my breeding since birth. It's what I am.

John Crichton

You can be more.

Rygel

[I'm] aquatic. That's water, not mud. Mud is mud. You can't breathe in it, you can't move in it. It holds you, it grabs you, it sucks you down. You want to know about mud? I know about mud!

Crichton

The guy knows mud.

Crichton

Look, I understand what a phenomenal moment this is for you.

Do you? Can you? I mean, to you space-travel is commonplace. But to us, here, I mean in one flash....

Crichton

....you learn that you're not alone in the universe. That interstellar space travel is possible, that a zillion of your empirical facts about science and religion are wrong, or completely suspect? I do understand.

Crichton

You know, when I was your age, I used to dream about meeting a real, live alien.

Yeah. Me too.

Aeryn

No offense, human, but what could I possibly need from you?

Crichton

Manners, personality, stock tips.

Aeryn

[about Peacekeeper commandos] I'm sure your world has no force so ruthless, so disciplined.

Crichton

Oh, we call them linebackers. Or serial killers, depends on if they're... professional or amateur.

D'Argo

[to differentiate themselves from their clones] We will cut off the tip of our small finger for identification.

Crichton

[with can of spray paint] How about something a little less permanent?

Aeryn

She gives me a woody. [Crichton looks at her] Woody. Human saying. I've heard you say it often when you don't trust someone, or they make you nervous, then they give you—

Crichton

The willies! She gives you the willies.

I got a lotta names, John boy. Call me whatever pops your cork.

Crichton

Yeah, right. You're a regular Laurence Olivier.

The quest for perfection demands our unwavering devotion. This Mengele sounds like a visionary!

Crichton

He was a monster.

Aeryn

You say you want to go back to this planet of pain and suffering!

Crichton

Well you guys don't have chocolate.

Crichton

That's my underwear.

Aeryn

[points to tag] What does this say?

Crichton

Calvin.

Aeryn

Well, they're not yours.

Rygel

I like my wives pregnant and my ships cold to the touch. That way my feet stay warm and my slumber is uninterrupted.

Crichton

Wives plural? Big fella! [gives him high-five]

Crichton

Listen, sunshine... You wanna be part of this crew?

Chiana

On your good days!

Crichton

This is one of the good days. I thought you were junior Miss Tough-Chick-of-the-Universe?

Crichton

Oh hell, we're screwed.

Rygel

Should I disrobe so it's memorable?