John Robert Crichton quotes from Farscape

Crichton

[Crichton puts on glove/hand of the alien he just killed] Oh, God it's still warm.

Crichton

Como estas, la cucaracha?

Crichton

Excuse me ladies, can I have your attention. Do any of you have one of these under your skirt?

Crichton

Yeah, girl power!

Crichton

Oh no, this is that dream where I wake up in a cell, naked.

Crichton

[sighs] Thank heaven for simple mercies.

Crichton

What propulsion, the smoke you're blowing up my ass?

Crichton

I am not Kirk, Spock, Luke, Buck, Flash, or Arthur frelling Dent. I am Dorothy Gale from Kansas.

Crichton

Where's Aeryn, Aeryn?

Crichton

I don't care 'bout much. War. Death. Wormholes. I don't care about the things you care about. Peacekeepers rule the Scarrans. Scarrans rule the Peacekeepers. Put them together, put your ass in a cage. I care about one thing. One. God have mercy on my soul. I think I'm gonna need your help, Mr. Scarran half-breed, to get Aeryn back.

Crichton

With these wormholes, anything is possible. Somewhere the Cubs are winning the World Series.

Crichton

Mankind's greatest contribution to the absurd. Thermonuclear bomb.

Crichton

Hi... Honey. Huh. Guess what I did at work today? I wore a bomb. A nuclear bomb in a field of flowers. I could get lucky. Tomorrow I could have a bigger bomb. I could kill... more people. Maybe they'll be innocent people. Children... maybe.

Crichton

I'm gonna fail. It's a sin, really.

[before John's launch] Son, I can't help being who I am. Who I was.

John Crichton

It's not who you are, Dad: I love who you are. It's being son of who you are. [nervous chuckle] Look, I... can't be your kind of hero.

No, you can't be. But each man gets a chance to be his own kind of hero. Your time will come, and when it does, watch out. Chances are it'll be the last thing you ever expected.

Rygel

I found the manifest. We were scheduled for transfer to Terron-Ra.

D'Argo

That's a lifer's colony!

John Crichton

[surprised] Prisoner... you're escaped prisoners?

D'Argo

[solemnly] I will not be taken prisoner again.

Rygel

[noticing Crichton] They brought you on board, didn't they? Don't worry, I'll protect you. I look after you now, you look after me later.

Rygel

[about an unusual aspect of Hynerian physiology] It's a perfectly natural bodily function. And it's odorless.

D'Argo

So your loyal subjects tell you!

John Crichton

You fart helium?