John Robert Crichton quotes from Farscape

Crichton

[To the Grudeks] NOH! PAV'HOR! HERRUCH'T! [To Sikozu] You didn't get that one did you... 'cause it's Klingon! A show of force is the only thing that Klingons understand.

Crichton

We're going to be really, really quiet so the Pirates of the Caribbean don't hear us, okay?

John

[explaining his situation to Sikozu] Okay! Once upon a time I was happy here. A little on the lonely side - but that's okay 'cos at least Wynona only had to start cooking fires - you know - fire? Whoosh! Fire. Module's outta fuel so it's not goin' anywhere. So, I'm workin' like a mofo. And everything is fiiiiinally comin' together on these crates here - 'til you - SMASHED THROUGH - PISSING ME OFF - just - a little bit. So the only thing that I still had goin' for me - you just destroyed, lady! YEAH!

John

[flaunting his rear end to the hound] You want some o' this? Yeah! Grade-A prime American beef!

Crichton

How come everything tastes like chicken?

Crichton

This is unbelievable. Can't cook, won't bathe, and now she's narcoleptic? She's a triple threat.

Crichton

Damn! This has got to be bad for the sperm count.

Crichton

Can I get a "Hell, yeah!"?

Crichton

Asylum? What is it with Peacekeepers. First they hunt us, then they want to move in. Are we a bed and breakfast. Do we have a sign outside that says "Free HBO?"

Crichton

You're coming with me. We may need a nerd.

Crichton

Pilot, I got a ton of groceries to unload.

Crichton

I'm going wabbit hunting.

Crichton

This is John Crichton paging the head Cylon. Pick up the phone, Imperious Leader.

Crichton

So, we've gone from Die Hard to Honey, I Shrunk the Hostages.

Crichton

How are my little inaction figures?