Rabbi Milligan quotes from Fargo

Loy Cannon

You seeing to his education?

Rabbi Milligan

I'm teaching him how the world works.

Loy Cannon

And how's that?

Rabbi Milligan

It's dog eat dog.

Loy Cannon

That's how dogs work. Men are more complicated.

Rabbi Milligan

Not in my experience.

Satchel Cannon

Are you Jewish?

Rabbi Milligan

No.

Satchel Cannon

Then how come they call you Rabbi? Isn't a Rabbi a Jewish priest?

Rabbi Milligan

You ever play poker? [Satchel shakes his head] But you know there's a game called poker, played with cards. Well, there's this saying in poker: "You play the hand you're dealt." You and me, we're proof of that. You see, when yours truly was a boy, he had the same thing happen to him, what happened to you.

Satchel Cannon

You got traded?

Rabbi Milligan

What?

Satchel Cannon

From baseball. That's what my daddy said. I got traded to another team.

Rabbi Milligan

Exactly. I got traded twice. Except, well, for you, you get to go back to your original team one day.

Satchel Cannon

Is this your original team?

Rabbi Milligan

No. My team was shite.

Rabbi Milligan

You hurt?

Satchel Cannon

No. I-Is he dead?

Rabbi Milligan

Yes, but don't look away. This is what men do. Snap out of it. We have to go. It's war now, for real. You're not safe here.

Satchel Cannon

Home?

Rabbi Milligan

You're not safe there, either. You trust me? [Satchel nods] I never got to choose. A child soldier, that's what they made me. But that's not gonna happen to you. Understand?

Satchel Cannon

I think so.

Rabbi Milligan

So we're gonna find someplace quiet, wait 'til the dust settles, and if you want to go home - if that's your choice - I'll take you home. Understand?

Satchel Cannon

I'm scared.

Rabbi Milligan

Me too.

Rabbi Milligan

The future is what?

How's that?

Rabbi Milligan

What's it gonna say?

Wait 'til it's finished, then you'll see.

Rabbi Milligan

Well...finish the damn thing already!

Moment I finish it, I'm out of a job. Plus, why do you care? It's just a sign.

Rabbi Milligan

It's the principle. Making people live with uncertainty, it ain't right!

Send a letter to your congressman, you're so irate.

Rabbi Milligan

Hey! Hey! What the heck does that even mean?

Got me. Could be a statement as to the underlying unreliability of time. Or a testimony along the lines of "seize the day". They don't pay me to write 'em, just slap 'em up. Which I did. And now it's done. And I find myself once more at a crossroads, unemployed. So I suppose for me the future I once feared has arrived as predicted by this very billboard.