If you wanna get along with me, don't be lazy.
Or black.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
GGloria
Vanessa, you need to talk to that little girl! You think I don't know I got a mole?!
Holy moly!
GGloria
I know I got a mole!
Does your mole know about your mustache?
Wha-? Gloria, wait a minute!
[Gloria snaps her fingers at her]
[stares at Tonya for a moment] Tonya?
What?...
While I talked my way into a job, Tonya talked her way out of one.
You gotta fire Tonya.
Vanessa, let me talk to her first!
Rochelle, I don't have time for that. I'm losin' more customers than a Muslim rib shack.
Ah salaam a-lick-'em!
She broke up 2 marriages, she outed Jerome's uncle and she told Gloria 'bout her mole.
She told Gloria about her mole?...
Oh lord, not the mole!
Everybody knows how sensitive Gloria is about that mole.
She ain't say nothing about her mustache, did she?
She didn't have to.
Oh...well Vanessa...!
[mocking voice] Rochelle! Either you fire her, or I'm gonna have to fire you.
While my future was lookin' up, Tonya's was goin' down the drain.
So, I'm gettin' fired for bein' honest?
It happened to Don Imus, and it could happen to you.
Who the hell are you?
I'm Chris.
Star of the new movie, Guess Who's Coming to Homeroom.
In a school that was 7% Latino, 9% black and 3% Asian, I somehow ended up in a class that was 99.9% white.
I need to change homerooms.
Oh, what's the problem?
Mr. Thurman hates me.
Everyone does. It's in the title of the show, dummy.
I thought you had about as much chance of working with the football team as Boy George does of joining Quiet Riot, but you did it!
And oddly enough, so did Boy George.
Because I was a guy and a good cook, I got a lot of attention.
Mom, why do you always have to do this?
Tasha, please stop talkin' to me like I'm your daughter.
WMrs. Williams
OK, for our second group of partners, we have Sadie and Lola, Tiffany and Amber, Chris and...
Chris and Maria, Chris and Maria, Chris and Maria!
WMrs. Williams
...and Angel.
[after Chris squeezes his hand too hard] Ow!
I broke his androgyny bone!
She may not know how to work an oven, but she knows how to work me!
I was cool with Angel, but not with androgyny, so I asked my dad for help.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Everybody Hates Chris pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.