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E.R. quotes

1,278 quotes · page 20 of 86

E.R.

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S4 E15Exodus

[pandemonium at the ER - there's a benzine spill, and chaos is erupting, and it's only getting worse]

PParamedic

[just entered the ER] What the hell is this?

You can't come in here, the ER's contaminated!

PParamedic

What happened?

They just showed up covered in benzine. Okay, somebody clear out the lobby!

[yelling back at the Paramedic who's shouting at him] You didn't control the scene! They came here in a pickup truck!

MOVE THIS GURNEY OUT OF THE WAY.

[Carter is unheard, and everybody - literally everybody - is talking over each other trying to figure out what to do, before Carter steps in, and shouts...]

Alright, EVERYBODY SHUT UP!!! EVERYBODY shut up! [Jeanie: Send them to Mercy!] We are going to evacuate the entire ER. Check every room, all contaminated patients and staff, go to the ambulance bay right now!

Wait a minute, how do we know who's contaminated?

If you got a spot on your skin, if you got a spot on your gurney, if you got a spot on your clothes, go outside right now!

Alright, you heard him! Move, move, move, go!

Now that I'm back on days, you can count on a higher level of efficiency at the central work area. If you pass out again, I'll have everything under control.

Hey, is that Mr. Arteburn's chart?

Yeah, yeah. Actually, check this out. Blue Cross. Not the HMO, not the PPO. Traditional indemnity plan gold.

Jerry, we treat everyone the same.

I'm just thinking about the budget deficit.

What if the elevator moves? You could get killed!

Well, then you won't have to worry about a commitment.

Doug, I'm serious!

S4 E16My Brother's Keeper

I took anthropology as an undergraduate. Cro-Magnon man is considered a modern Homo sapien, just like you.

Thank you very much.

I didn't say he was as good looking.

[about Cynthia] She was actually nice to me which is a departure from most women in my life.

MCMillicent Carter

[about John and Chase] All your lives, you've been indulged, and considered it oppression.

[Jerry is cleaning out the Admit area]

Ah, look at that. Twinkies.

You're not gonna eat that?

Why not? They have a shelf life of 7 years. [he checks the label] 1993, I'm in the zone!

I can't go to the movies next Friday, but I can go Saturday. Unless you're too cool to hang out with me.

SAScott Anspaugh

You are pretty sorry.

Speak for yourself, Captain Baldy.

SAScott Anspaugh

Next month, my hair will grow back, and you'll still be sorry.

Yeah, well, just for that, I get to pick the movie

SAScott Anspaugh

No way. No chick flicks.

Oh, right, Mr. "Days of our Lives."

S4 E17A Bloody Mess

Carol, Anna, do you two have plans this evening?

You know I did and then I didn't and now I don't know anymore.

You, Carol, have something that I really envy.

What?

A sex life!

Cheers to that!

I have no complaints in that department!

[to Doug and Mark] I don't know what you two are doing, but I have plans for this evening. So have fun.

Together again.

[notices blood on the floor] Reminds me of "Carrie". The movie, not the attending.

[Dr. Morgenstern is practicing procedures in the morgue]

MDr. Morgenstern

Kerry Weaver, meet John DeLeo. Welder, father of five. Never retired, despite crippling arthritis. Outlived three of his kids. Never left Chicago.

You know all that about this cadaver?

MDr. Morgenstern

No. I made it up.

S4 E18Gut Reaction

Do you think of me as diplomatic?

What does that have to do with it?

Answer the question.

Well, it's not the first word that springs to mind, no.

What would the first word be that springs to mind?

Um, stubborn. Opinionated. Insouciant.

Insouciant?

Look it up.

These quotes come from Wikiquote's E.R. pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.