Grandpapi Rivera quotes from El Tigre: The Adventures of Manny Rivera

Sufferin' saguaros!' Now that is cactus power! [creates an army of cactus monsters; cackles evilly] So, Riveras. Who's a real supervillain now?

You.

My successor will be…one of you! Tomorrow, I will hold a tournament beneath the Miracle City volcano. The winner will receive my mystic guitar! My skeleton bandito army. And a three-month subscription to "Villains Quarterly!"

Yes, yes, yes, magnifico! [laughs while hyperventilating] What? Is good magazine.

Get some rest, my comrades in evil. You will need it.

I warned you to stay out of my way… And you're like one foot off the ground.

Yes, well, you're still very mean.

[claps slowly] See? He has chosen power over family. I told you he was a true villain.

[confused] Django? What?

He is indeed worthy. El Tigre, join us. With you and Django by my side, we will rule the world!

Huh? You said you were retiring!

Yes, but I… FIBBED! [cackles wickedly]

A fib?!

El Oso

It can't be!

Never trust a villain.

Your plan worked perfectly, Django.

Your plan?

Yes. I devised this tournament as a way to get all of grandmother's evil competition in one place and DESTROY THEM!

Frida

That is one complicated evil plan.

He truly is an artist.

El Oso

I would applaud if he weren't destroying me.

Wait, so that's real lava?

[chuckles nervously as Sartana stands in front of him] Hey there. Sorry about Django, huh?

Don't worry. He's a fast healer. [strums her mystic guitar, resurrecting her grandson]

[emerging from the lava with lava hands; savagely] El Tigre, you will PAY!

Get ready for play catch, lava bone boy!

No, this is my fight.

But Manny...

Papi, Manny was right. He's not a child anymore. We must let him fight his own battles.

Thus, did El Tigre choose… Evil. With Tigre and Django's help, Sartana was at last able to conquer the world, plucking it like a ripe and succulent fruit… only bigger. Earth's teaming masses were powerless to resist their onslaught. Those who resisted were crushed beneath the iron boot of the Tyrannical Boot of Iron. Before long, El Tigre and Django decided it was finally time for Sartana to retire. [a rocket encases Sartana and blasts off into the sky] And El Tigre decided it was time for Django to retire as well. [another rocket encases Django after Manny shakes his hand, bidding him farewell, and catches his mystic guitar as it blasts off to the moon] And so, El Tigre became the unquestioned ruler of all human kind. His first order of business was to rescue his loved ones from the Miracle City volcano.

Frida

[after Manny uses Django's guitar to free her] Dude, took you long enough.

Well, I've been conquering the world, enslaving human kind. You know how it is.

But of course, as your elders, Papi and I will take control of the world, once you unshackle us.

Grandpapi

Yes, we take your power and hold it for you until you get older, eh?

Gosh, I have left a flan within the oven. We'll be back in five or ten minutes or months.

Frida

Ciao!

Well, you can't rush flan.

Two more minutes!

Grandpapi

Send food!

But of course, El Tigre and Frida soon grew tired of these childish games. If by "soon" you mean, "in 60 years."

Frida

Dude, the last 60 years have been awesome! But I feel like we forgot something.

Dad and Grandpapi! We must run like the wind!

Dropped in the belly of the beast.

There's only one way to escape this monster and destroy Sartana. Our ultimate weapon: the Caliente Catapult of Carnage!

No…it's too dangerous!

I won't risk…my only son!

Dad… I know I messed up. I sent Señor Chapi to bird heaven, and I wrecked the house… twice. But please, let me show you I can be a hero. I will make you proud.

[sighs] What am I going to do with that boy?

Grandpapi

Don't worry, someday Manny will be a truly great villain.

Hero, he'll be a hero!

Frida

So, what now?

Oh, uh, maybe, uhh… Hide Sartana's loot and tell my dad it disappeared?

Frida

Dude, you are an artist.

Grandpapi

Me favorite cologne, old and spicy! [puts on the cologne] Thank you, son.

Rodolfo

[wearing a gas mask] Happy Father's Day, Papi.

Grandpapi

Manny, what's wrong?

Manny

I got busted at school... again.

Frida

Turns out, teachers don't like it when you put plastic wrap over the faculty toilet bowls.

[getting the silver scorpion out of the display case] You don't look so cursed to me.

Manny

[catches him; heartbroken] Grandpapi? You… You lied to me? You didn't come to school to help me. You were after the scorpion all along.

Manny, no, I can explain!

Vice Principal Chakal

[also catching him] Ah-ha! I knew it! Enjoy the antarctic swamp, Rivera!

Manny

NO BELT!

Rodolfo

NO BOOTS!

Grandpapi

NO BRERO!

Manny

El Ti-Tera.

Rodolfo

White Loco.

Grandpapi

Puma Tigre. Ooh, I have a tail.

Very good.

Well rockin'!

Now that was family fun!

Yes, mijo.

Frida

[lands in Manny's hands] Kiss me, you fool! [kisses him in the lips]

Familia forever!