Manny Rivera quotes from El Tigre: The Adventures of Manny Rivera

Manny

Not only will we get to see Mom kick bad guy booty, but maybe she won't freak out so much when I use my powers.

Frida

[giggles] You said, "booty-butt."

Manny

This is a chance of a lifetime. Plata Peligrosa will fight again!

This is nuts! I thought you quit superheroing because you couldn't handle the danger!

I couldn't handle how much I loved the danger. I was afraid it would become an obsession, but now I know that I am PERFECTLY IN CONTROL! [cackles in derangement]

El Oso

For a hero, she gots a good evil laugh, man.

Mom, this has to stop!

You've been spending too much time with that evil Grandpapi of yours. Your father would never back down from a fight with villains!

He also wouldn't have busted them out of jail.

You're… you're right, mijo. I've got it all wrong.

Stop hitting my mom… Mom!

Only a villain would help a villain like me! I will make you PAY!

Frida

[spits out popcorn, having to have heard that] She's doing what now?!

No, Mom, you don't mean it! That's the glove talking!

Manny, RUN!

Manny

Can you believe them?

Frida

No. And what century did movies cost a quarter?!

Manny

They think they know everything just 'cause they're old.

You know what they say, the bigger they are…

Frida

The more likely they'll cause internal bleeding! I know! What?

ENOUGH! You think I'm just some kid you can boss around? [to his father] I'm not your side… [to his Grandpapi] and I'm not on your side. I'm on my side. And if you don't wanna get hurt… [viciously] stay out of my way.

I warned you to stay out of my way… And you're like one foot off the ground.

Yes, well, you're still very mean.

[claps slowly] See? He has chosen power over family. I told you he was a true villain.

[confused] Django? What?

He is indeed worthy. El Tigre, join us. With you and Django by my side, we will rule the world!

Huh? You said you were retiring!

Yes, but I… FIBBED! [cackles wickedly]

A fib?!

El Oso

It can't be!

Never trust a villain.

Your plan worked perfectly, Django.

Your plan?

Yes. I devised this tournament as a way to get all of grandmother's evil competition in one place and DESTROY THEM!

Frida

That is one complicated evil plan.

He truly is an artist.

El Oso

I would applaud if he weren't destroying me.

Wait, so that's real lava?

Django, I really appreciate this.

The offer to join us?

No. You're sticking out your hand like an idiot.

[chuckles nervously as Sartana stands in front of him] Hey there. Sorry about Django, huh?

Don't worry. He's a fast healer. [strums her mystic guitar, resurrecting her grandson]

[emerging from the lava with lava hands; savagely] El Tigre, you will PAY!

Get ready for play catch, lava bone boy!

No, this is my fight.

But Manny...

Papi, Manny was right. He's not a child anymore. We must let him fight his own battles.

[after Manny moves out of the way and Django accidentally fires lava at her; annoyed] Just wait till your mother hears about this. [disintegrates into dust and so does her banditos]

[tauntingly to Django] Adios, sucker! [laughs, then stops, noticing that Django isn't disintegrating, or going anywhere] Uh, aren't you gonna, you know, disintegrate or something?

No! Remember, I have my own mystic guitar! [accidentally disintegrates it with his lava hands] Well, that was stupid.

Thus, did El Tigre choose… Evil. With Tigre and Django's help, Sartana was at last able to conquer the world, plucking it like a ripe and succulent fruit… only bigger. Earth's teaming masses were powerless to resist their onslaught. Those who resisted were crushed beneath the iron boot of the Tyrannical Boot of Iron. Before long, El Tigre and Django decided it was finally time for Sartana to retire. [a rocket encases Sartana and blasts off into the sky] And El Tigre decided it was time for Django to retire as well. [another rocket encases Django after Manny shakes his hand, bidding him farewell, and catches his mystic guitar as it blasts off to the moon] And so, El Tigre became the unquestioned ruler of all human kind. His first order of business was to rescue his loved ones from the Miracle City volcano.

Frida

[after Manny uses Django's guitar to free her] Dude, took you long enough.

Well, I've been conquering the world, enslaving human kind. You know how it is.

But of course, as your elders, Papi and I will take control of the world, once you unshackle us.

Grandpapi

Yes, we take your power and hold it for you until you get older, eh?

Gosh, I have left a flan within the oven. We'll be back in five or ten minutes or months.

Frida

Ciao!

Well, you can't rush flan.

Two more minutes!

Grandpapi

Send food!

But of course, El Tigre and Frida soon grew tired of these childish games. If by "soon" you mean, "in 60 years."

Frida

Dude, the last 60 years have been awesome! But I feel like we forgot something.

Dad and Grandpapi! We must run like the wind!

Frida

That's all you made?

Manny

It'll take hundred years at this rate. Dad's gonna be old and dead by then.

Dropped in the belly of the beast.

There's only one way to escape this monster and destroy Sartana. Our ultimate weapon: the Caliente Catapult of Carnage!

No…it's too dangerous!

I won't risk…my only son!

Dad… I know I messed up. I sent Señor Chapi to bird heaven, and I wrecked the house… twice. But please, let me show you I can be a hero. I will make you proud.

[sighs] What am I going to do with that boy?

Grandpapi

Don't worry, someday Manny will be a truly great villain.

Hero, he'll be a hero!

Frida

So, what now?

Oh, uh, maybe, uhh… Hide Sartana's loot and tell my dad it disappeared?

Frida

Dude, you are an artist.