(to Dungeon Master) What this time, oh terrible tour guide?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
You're the leader, what do we do?
The only thing we can do - run!
(running) I coulda thought of that!
(disbelieving) Make friends with Venger?
Oh, sure - how are we supposed to do that?
Buy him another horn for his helmet?
Beware what you say when you speak of magic, wizard, or you shall see who has the greater power. As for you, Ranger, you have destroyed that which I created. How, I am not yet certain, but you have restored the balance. Now, we are even. The next time we meet.... EXPECT NO FAVORS.
LIKEWISE, Venger.
(leaving) SO BE IT.
Hey.... you think maybe Venger's not all bad?
Sure, and Genghis Khan was a stand-up comic.
(far behind) You are wrong, Cavalier. There was good in Venger, once. A long time ago. Everyone makes mistakes. Venger was mine.
Oh, come on, I know exactly where we are!
Yeah, a hundred miles from nowhere and fifty miles from anyplace.
Patience, young ones. You will find both safety, and danger ahead.
Do we have to find both?
What do you mean, "we"? "We" means us! Me and them! I know who they are! They know who I am! But who are you?!
(cornered) Uh-oh! End of the road!
[Turns] You mean for them.
Aw, Hank, can't we stay? Ramuud's awfully nice.
Yeah, it's the next best thing to having a real dad.
(depressed) Are you kidding? He's better than my dad ever was.
JJimmy
Hi, Sheila! Hi, Bobby! How did you guys get in my dream?
Dream? This is real!
As soon as you get home, call our parents!
Tell them we're okay! Tell them everything's okay!
We'll be home as soon as we find a portal back!
JJimmy
Wait a minute, are you guys cracked? This is Sunday night, you guys went to the amusement park and I couldn't go because I had homework, remember? And I'm asleep now, and this is just a dream.
No, no! I-It's real, and we're lost! Tell our parents!
JJimmy
I'm sure! Look, I'll see you in the morning at school, okay? Then you can show me another one of your dumb card tricks, eh, "Presto"? (laughs) See you around, guys. (disappears)
CBCloud Bear
(describing "The Green Ones") They have ugly flat noses, and tusks that stick up, and mean eyes!
Wait a minute, I know that description. (walks off, thinking) It's coming.... it's coming- (walks into Orc captain) Aaaahhh! It's here!
We're outnumbered ten to one!
All right, then, you take two, I'll take eighteen.
OOrc
(mocking Hank after he has been exiled from the Cloud Bear city) What's the matter, human? Got no friends no more?
There are many matters that require my attention, Cavalier. The life of a Dungeon Master is not an easy one.
Are you kidding me? You have all this power and you never even use it! Boy, if I was Dungeon Master, I'd have it made!
What an interesting proposition! And it's true, I could use a little rest. Very well, Cavalier, I ACCEPT YOUR OFFER.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dungeons & Dragons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.