[Drake, Josh and Megan are at Mystic Mountain waiting in line to ride The Demonator]
15. Only 15 people away from riding The Demonator.
I can't believe we get to ride it the first night it opens. Uh oh. I just had a bad thought.
What? You might grow old, never get married, and die alone?
No... But thank you for pointing out that possibility.
What if the ride's not as great as we think it's gonna be?
I'm just saying, what if it's all hype?
SSpeaker
Please exit The Demonator to your left.
[some passengers walk out of the ride]
MMan
Oh, man, that ride was insane. I feel like part of me has died, but another part has just been born. [walks out]
LBLittle Boy
I don't even care that I puked.
Megan': Yeah, it's all hype.
Oh, man, this is gonna be the greatest night of our lives.
Ah, true that. [takes another bite of his churro] Uh oh. I gotta pee.
We're almost to the front. Can't you hold it?
Maybe. But since we're all gonna be sitting in the same row--
If he doesn't make it back in time, we're still gonna go on the ride, right?
If he's mauled by a bear, we're still going on the ride.
[Craig and Eric are at home watching Papa Nichols]
Drake said he'd be asleep all night.
[wakes up] Oh, where am I? What's happened?
Oh. Uh, nothing, sir. I was just, uhh...
What have you done with the rest of my unit?
What does he mean, his unit?
[Papa Nichols picks up his slipper]
I guess he thinks he's back in World War II.
[uses his slipper as a walkie-talkie] General Patton, sir. It's Sergeant Nichols. I've just been captured by 2 German nerds!
Oh. No, no, sir. We're not Germans.
That's just what a German would say!
No, no, no. You don't understand...
No, no. You will not capture me. [bonks Eric in the head] Ever!
[mumbling] Get outta here! [Craig screams as Papa Nichols throws him over the couch] USA! USA! USA! [starts running off] USA! USA! USA! USA!
[after Papa Nichols leaves, Craig and Eric are sitting on the floor feeling themselves in pain]
[Craig and Eric are at home, looking for Papa Nichols]
[looks out the window] Papa Nichols?
[in the kitchen] Papa Nichols?
[he comes out of the kitchen] Why is he hiding from us?
Well, I guess he's confused on the count of all that medication they gave him after his surgery.
[they look up as Papa Nichols screams and falls from the ceiling and lands on top of them]
Ahh, ahh. USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!
[Drake, Josh, and Megan are bumped to the back of the line after Josh used the bathroom and got back in the middle of the line upsetting people]
I can't believe you got us sent to the back of the line!
Sorry. Yeah, next time, I'll just let my bladder explode.
[Eric is in Drake and Josh's room looking for Papa Nichols]
Craig, I found him! He's upstairs!
Ohh. [hollars] Thank goodness!
Papa Nichols. Papa Nichols, are you feeling better? [he opens the covers, but Papa Nichols pranks him as he covers him in a pillowcase]
[Craig hears the commotion as Papa Nichols screams and throws Eric out of Drake and Josh's window]
General Patton, I just found another one! [he salutes]
[Milfred Mouse feels his butt noticing his tail has been off]
Hey. [takes the tail from him] You do not yank off Milfred Mouse's tail.
MMMilfred Mouse
Hey, buddy. [drops his axe] You do not yank off my tail.
Yeah, I know, he's the one--
MMMilfred Mouse
[takes his tail] Yeah, yeah, how would you like it if I yank off your tail? [he tickles Josh and he yells]
Cool it, buddy. [pushes him away]
MMMilfred Mouse
Oh-hoh, don't you push me! [he throws Josh out of the line and attacks him]
[tries to stop the fight] Break it up.
PBPirate Boy
They're hurting Milfred Mouse!
PBPirate Boy's Mom
Security!
[Drake and Josh keep fighting until the whistle blows and four guards approach]
JOfficer Jackson
Alright, that's it. Get off Milfred Mouse.
MMMilfred Mouse
Yeah, get him off of me! He attacked me.
That mouse is very aggressive!
JOfficer Jackson
Look, you mess with the mouse, you go to the back of the line.
JOfficer Jackson
You with these guys?
[satisfied] Never seen them before in my life.
JOfficer Jackson
Come on! [takes Drake and Josh to the back of the line]
MMMilfred Mouse
[distantly] Yeah, yeah, get outta here! [everyone in line claps]
[Papa Nichols has tied Craig and Eric to chairs, with a broom on his hand]
Alright. For the last time, what have you done with Colonel Bradford?
Uh, actually, I'm from North Lawndale. See, last year, city council-
[Eric's phone is ringing revealing it's Josh]
What's that noise?! Where's it coming from?
[Papa Nichols takes Eric's phone out of his pocket]
What is this? Is it some kind of weapon? Are you two from the future?!
No, that's just my cell phone.
[Papa Nichols throws the phone at the wall, breaking it thinking it was a weapon]
Oh no! He ruined my picture phone! It had all of our vacation photos on it.
From Niagara Falls? Aw, man!
[after Drake and Josh had a fight with Milford Mouse, they are at the end of the line again, Josh was trying to call Eric, but no answer revealing that Papa Nichols broke Eric's cellphone]
[hangs up his phone, worried] Oh, man, this is not good. Eric always answers his cell phone.
Dude, I'm sure Papa Nichols is still sound asleep.
No. That's not the point, alright? We have to go home. There's no way we can ride The Demonator and be home before Mom and Dad get--
[Craig and Eric are trying to untie themselves]
Almost-- [they finally get the rope off]
CECraig and Eric
Yeah! [they run off, but Papa Nichols pranks them as they sit back down and ties them back up] Oh, oh. We're sorry, we're sorry, so sorry, we're sorry.
[Drake, Josh, and Megan arrive home after riding The Demonator as Craig and Eric angrily stare at them]
Why are Craig and Eric tied up?
Because your great-grandfather went berserk. That's why.
And I'll tell you something else! [he angrily shows Drake and Josh his broken cellphone after Papa Nichols broke it] YOU GUYS ARE GONNA BUY ME A NEW CELLPHONE!
Well. I should wake him up and take him to the guest room. Papa Nichols. Papa Nichols. Wake up. It's time to-
AH! [wakes up and punches Walter, knocking him out satisfied; laughs] Nice try, German! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! [he runs off while Drake, Josh, and Audrey can't believe how crazy he is as the episode ends]
[during the end credits, Craig goes to Drake and Josh's room to look for Papa Nichols]
Eric! Eric? Eric. Eric? Eric? [he opens the closet door but he got runs off as Papa Nichols pranked him]
Tell the marines the beach is secure! [he runs off to get Craig]
[Drake turns on the radio while Josh is doing homework]
Oh, hey. Want some sandwich?
No! I'm trying to do my homework. Could you turn that off?!
[takes out his guitar and starts singing in blues] Oh cranky Josh, he is getting so cranky, so very cranky. [Josh breaks his pencil] And now he's breaking things. Somebody call the pencil repairman...
DUDE!!! Would you please stop that improvisational blues tune? Don't you have homework to do?
My homework's already been taken care of. [gives his note to Josh]
[reading Drake fake doctor's note] Please excuse Drake from his homework. He twisted his liver and is unable to read, write, or bathe. Yours truly, the doctor.
Shouldn't the doctor have a name?
Oh, yes. Here, gimme that. Bob! "Bob, the Doctor". Yeah?
Oh yeah, yeah! That is perfect!
Yep, she keeps looking up in the sky wondering where the aliens are.
Perfect, alright. Come here, now this is the ham radio.
Now we just talk into this mic and we sound like aliens.
Oh, cool, gimme it. Bonjour Si' te plait. [Josh takes the mic]
We're supposed to sound like we're from outer space, NOT PARIS!
You know there's a way to correct people nicely.
Ya know, sometimes, I feel you just use me.
