Elder Kai quotes from Dragon Ball Z

You know, when people succeed, they're geniuses. Until then, they're kooks.

We must finish soon. Yes, that way I can get my kiss.

[to Gohan] Stay focused. Now take that anger swelling inside you and use it to your advantage.

Honestly, I worry about these Saiyans. Seems their love of battle might work against them. But if anyone is to defeat Majin Buu, it will be them. You can bet a nickel on that.

As long as that beast is still alive, the entire physical cosmos faces extinction.

[about Super Buu absorbing Vegito] He's having trouble digesting those two. I have that problem with Mexican food.

That buffoon Majin Buu just couldn't keep his thoughts straight. All he could think about are pastries!

My old master likes girly magazines. We'll get you some!

Oh boy! Uh, dad...

Goku, please! How inappropriate!

Hmph! I have no need for such things. With my omniscient vision, I can see girls playing volleyball on the beach! Heh heh!

You call yourself a Kai!?

Hey, old man! How 'bout we get you a date with a real live Earth woman!?

Is she a good kisser?

Yeah, of course.

Eheh heh heh...heh heh heh heh...

[to himself] What luck...this guy's just like Master Roshi...

Dad, are you nuts! How are you going to find someone that wants to kiss that guy?

Hey, don't worry. I can't go back to Earth, but you can. This is all too simple. You can handle it, son. It might require a little sacrifice though. Can you get Videl to do it?

Dad! I'm not gonna ask my girlfriend to kiss that old relic!

Okay, okay. Sheesh. Who else do we know...?

Funny though...I always thought it would be a Kai that broke the Z sword and rescued me, but you're more of a shoe-shine boy than a hero, huh? The Kai's been rescued by mere mortals. Things have sure gone downhill.

Well, sir. I've always tried my best...

Now that my training is over, how do I make sure what you did comes through in my fighting?

Well, you just do that Super Saiyan thing you always do and stop worrying. It'll happen. Just make sure you let it.

All I have to do is become a Super Saiyan and believe. [Gohan begins to power up]

Try believing someplace else!

Doesn't this generation know how to plan? My goodness. Do I have to do everything?

[Screaming] WHAT! M-M-M-MY SWEET LITTLE VIDEL IS DEAD?! [Hercule and Bee whimper]. My poor Videl. How could Buu do that to her? Darn him. He was my friend. [Starts crying].

[Unusually jumps to Gohan and starts floating. Unusual, because he can't fly.] What's wrong with you? Why didn't you protect my little girl, huh? What kind of boyfriend are you, huh, pal?

I wasn't there.

Hey, don't worry sir, she'll come back to life. [He means by use of the dragon balls.]

Huh? [Jumps towards Goten and starts shaking him. Goten starts to blabber and chuckle due to the tickling of the shaking]. What are you talking about? She's dead, you little imp! How are you gonna bring her back to life? [Hercule doesn't know about the dragon balls, go figure.]

[Still being shaken and chuckling].

[Misunderstands and thinks Goten's chuckling because he was joking about Videl coming back. Still shaking him.] No joking around! This is my daughter we're talking about.

[Finally not being shaken or chuckling anymore, but annoyed.] I'm not joking!

I'll give you the life that's left inside of me. Then you can make your return to Earth.

You mean, you're giving up your life...for me?

Venerable Elder, this is the most unorthodox behavior! You can't just offer up your life to handle a single...situation!

As usual, you're missing the bigger picture. After Earth, Majin Buu will come here.

Huh!?

If that is true, then let me give up my life.

What!? No, master!

Majin Buu has been my enemy to destroy since Bibidi thousands of years ago and repeatedly, I've failed. You must allow me to pay my own debt.

You're ambitious, but too hard on yourself. Let the old men sacrifice their lives so that the young ones can live.

My dear Kai...

You're...too kind.

Dende

That's no ordinary old man. He's a Kai.

He does look a little strange. A Kai? What's that? Some sort o' purple leprechaun?

Dende

No. The Kais are the illustrious overseers of the universe. Each Kai protects one of the quadrants. But these two, they're actually Supreme Kais. No one in the whole universe has more authority than them.

Really? Hmm...uh... I've got a question then. If these two are so great and powerful, why don't they stop Majin Buu.

Eh?

Uh?

Dende

Uh...

They saved this nut? My word.

Hey, they have pointy ears, too. And I'm thinkin' you must be one of them, kid.

Dende

Eh...

Hey!

Dende

Uh?

Yeah, now I get it. Aha ha ha! This is all a dream! Aha ha ha! Just a silly old dream! Of course, of course. Now it all makes sense. First of all, there couldn't be somebody who's stronger than me, the undisputed Martial Arts Champion of the World! Ha, ha ha! Secondly, pink monsters like Buu don't exist and neither do purple people with pointy ears, now do they?! And, there's no such thing as little green men that guard the Earth from evil!

Dende

But, sir...

And how absurd is this? Look at all those moons! [Hercule starts running to the edge of a mountain]

Dende

Hey, wait! Where are you going?

I'm gonna fly away. It's my dream and I can do whatever I want. [Hercule reaches the edge] Hey! Yo! Majin Buu! I don't care if this is a dream! No one hurts my daughter, Videl, or the Earth! Do ya got that, pal! I'm comin' for you, you pink stink! Prepare to die!

Dende

Uh...

Oh...yeah...oh...okay... [Hercule jumps off the cliff] Aah! [Hercule hits the ground] Oh, the...the pain...oh... How can it hurt so bad if this is a dream? Uh....

You can't pay for entertainment like this.

[about Hercule and Bee] Oh no! What have we done? We forgot to bring that other man and his dog with us when we left!

That poor dog.

So the Evil Buu spit the Good Buu out like a piece of used up chewing gum. That means he'll attack Mister Satan now. But I guess it doesn't really matter at this point.

I don't know. He has a few serious character flaws, that's for sure. But as fate would have it, he's the last human alive. You see? The sole survivor.