Don't Hug Me I'm Scared · 53 quotes
And every day's a new surprise.
When you're learning with us guys.
Red GuyAnd we live in an actual nightMAAAAAARE!
Most-quoted character in Don't Hug Me I'm Scared: in 33 of its 53 quotes
Most scenes with: Yellow Guy (23), Duck Guy (22), Colin (4)
Scenes with Red Guy 31
Red GuyCCColin the Computer
It's computer day!
EEveryone
Hooray!
Red GuyAll right, let's do this. I'm on keys. You got the mouse?
Yeah. Both hands for complete control. You won't get away from me this year.
Hey, nice grip.
Thank you.
Red GuyAnd the password?
Me? But I-I don't know the password.
What? That's your only thing! You came up with it. You're supposed to remember it.
Oh... yeah.
WWarren
How could a confident, handsome worm- EAGLE have trouble keeping friends? Good question-
Red GuyBecause of the way you look.
WWarren
The way I...
Red GuyYou know, sort of lumpy and red raw.
You look like a bit of a bigger animal that fell off or was removed and then came to life.
More like an old person's finger.
Reminds me of an infection I had up my...
Red GuyOr was it the voice?
He looks like a tumour.
And he stinks.
I know, it's because you've got beady eyes like a rat.
Red GuyOr you're just generally unlikable in a way that's hard to pin down.
WWarren
(cries)
Red GuyWhat's he doing?
Looks like he's in pain.
Are you dying?
WWarren
I-I'm actually laughing. Doesn't bother me at all. If I was bothered by that kind of thing, do you think I would be laughing about it? No. And do you know why that doesn't bother me? Because I have something called-
Rat eyes!
WWarren
No! Not rat eyes!
That's it! That's the password! Rat eyes!
Your maiden name, of course!
Welcome to the information highway! What would you like to do first?
Red GuyLet's check our internet speed.
Let's do gambling!
I'd like to go on the dark web and look at a picture of a skeleton!
Great news! But first things first...
TTogether
Let's check our e-mail!
Red GuyWell, sorry we didn't get to hang out much. I guess there's always computer day next year.
Yeah. Don't close our tabs. I want to see that skeleton.
YOU IDIOT!
What? Don’t say that to me! I didn’t mean to!
Oh, shut up!
Red GuyHey, don't talk to him like that.
What? Turn on me?!
Red GuyYou said- You said you weren’t going to talk to him like that anymore!
HE RUINED IT! I’M NEVER GOING TO SEE THAT SKELETON!
Red GuyOh, boo-hoo, here we go again-
I HATE YOU! (He smashes a bottle into Duck's face, while the latter shouts in pain)
Red GuyWha- I'M DEALING WITH IT! (He throws a bottle into Yellow Guy's face)
(The screen cuts to black with the friends yelling over each other)
NOW IM P*SSED! LETS GO! I'M SLIPPED!
WHEN YOU DO THINGS YOU NEVER THING TWICE ABOUT IT! (The sounds of punches go flying)
Red GuyMY FAULT!?!
Duck: COME HERE!
(More punches go flying)
Red GuyYOU'LL NEVER EVER TALK TO MY FRIEND LIKE THAT ANYMORE!!!
YOU LITTLE PIG!
yellow guy: GET BACK FROM ME!
(the sounds of a machine gun fire)
GET AWAY!
YOU BASTARDS!
YOU MORONS, I'LL KILL YOU!!!
Red GuyOh really!?
(chainsaw sound heading toward the two)
NO!
Yellow guy: ARGGHHH-
(Duck and yellow guy scream)
TTape
Lesson number 40: reverse parallel parking on an incline. Firstly, you'll need to-
Red GuyHow about this one?
TTape
Lesson number 92: dominating the road. Handbrake turns around tight corners at high speed are a great way to impress new colleagues and intimidate-
Red GuyWhat? No! Where's lesson one?
Oh well.
Yeah, you gave it your best shot.
Red GuyAh, what about this one.
TTape
Lesson number 1.
Red GuyYes, here we go.
TTape
First things first.
Red GuyOkay.
TTape
And this is very important.
Red GuyYeah.
TTape
Before you even set foot in a vehicle, you'll need to pick out a name for your personalised license plate. Anything at all except DJ B1NBA6Z with the I as a 1, the G as a 6 and the S as a Z cause THAT'S WHAT I'M THINKING OF GETTING!
Red GuyWe're actually thinking of going somewhere new.
SSatnav
Somewhere new? Cool! Where are you thinking? Just type in your destination!
Red GuyI don't know just... just down here?
SSatnav
Oh, I'm sorry, that place doesn't exist anymore.
Red GuyWhat? What happened to it?
SSatnav
Just shrivelled up I reckon.
Now I'll never know if Grolton made his appointment!
Red GuyObviously he will. He always does.
What do you mean?
Red GuyGrolton always makes his appointment and no matter what happens, they start the next episode back at home.
CCar
Where's my special drink? For my condition?
Erm... I think someone might have drunk it all.
CCar
Urgh... I need that!
Oh, let's just turn back.
Red GuyNo, look, we'll make you some more. How hard can it be? What's in it?
CCar
It is forged far beneath the earth with the last remnants of the ancient ones.
I changed my mind, I want to go home.
Red GuyNo!
I want to watch the end of Grolton and Hovris.
Red GuyNo! We're so close!
To what?
Red GuyWE CAN'T GO BACK! I'm not going back to that house! There has to be something! Anything!
Is this... where we live now? Where are the... neighbours? In the community?
Red GuyYeah they'll be here. Don't worry. Somebody will... somebody will turn up.
Okay, one across. The clue is opposite of down, two letters. Hm, that's a tricky one.
Red GuyOpposite of down... hm... try above.
Above. A-B-OVE, no.
Hey, I know. It's when you can't remember that over the top of you, there's bigger ones, that are bigger and bigger. And then over the top of it, there's a smaller one on all of it at the top of that.
I'll be leaving then. I'll just go back in my box then, shall I? But I'm going to take all the lightbulbs and the CDs and electric whisk with me. Is that cool?
Red GuyWhat the hell are you going to do with them?
Now tell me, could you make a phone call on a phone that was just made of out of rocks and soil?
Red GuyNo, probably not.
Go on, try it!
Red GuyWhy?
Try it!
Red GuyOkay, fine.
Try it!
Red GuyAll right! Uh, no. Yeah it doesn't work.
(Phone Rings)
Red GuyOh, no, actually it does. Hello?
Oh, that's because my real phone is inside! You see?
Red GuyNot really.
That's a weird thing to do.
Yeah, you're going to break your phone.
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