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Don't Hug Me I'm Scared

Warren, Red Guy and others in “Friendship”

Warren

How could a confident, handsome worm- EAGLE have trouble keeping friends? Good question-

Red Guy

Because of the way you look.

Warren

The way I...

Red Guy

You know, sort of lumpy and red raw.

Duck

You look like a bit of a bigger animal that fell off or was removed and then came to life.

Yellow Guy

More like an old person's finger.

Duck

Reminds me of an infection I had up my...

Red Guy

Or was it the voice?

Colin

He looks like a tumour.

Duck

And he stinks.

Yellow Guy

I know, it's because you've got beady eyes like a rat.

Red Guy

Or you're just generally unlikable in a way that's hard to pin down.

Warren

(cries)

Red Guy

What's he doing?

Duck

Looks like he's in pain.

Yellow Guy

Are you dying?

Warren

I-I'm actually laughing. Doesn't bother me at all. If I was bothered by that kind of thing, do you think I would be laughing about it? No. And do you know why that doesn't bother me? Because I have something called-

Yellow Guy

Rat eyes!

Warren

No! Not rat eyes!

Yellow Guy

That's it! That's the password! Rat eyes!

Duck

Your maiden name, of course!

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