Nick George quotes from Dirty Sexy Money

Nick

[Voiceover] Money makes everything go wrong.

Jeremy

[He presents a dollar bill origami sailboat to Nick] Here, give this to Kiki. Tell her I'm sorry I made you late.

Nick

Where'd you learn how to do that?

Jeremy

My coke dealer.

Nick

All right listen, this has been a massive misunderstanding, and I can assure you my client is going to be found innocent of all charges brought against him, so there's no story here. Please excuse us.

Is it true you won the Yacht in a poker game, Jeremy?

Jeremy, how long have you been smuggling people into the country?

Jeremy

I don't know...

Nick

Don't answer that.

Is it true you were planning to harvest their organs?

Nick

You know, that is just dumb. Why say things like that?!

Nick

Look, he doesn't even know these guys.

Jeremy

It's true I've never meet those guys before in my life! Right, guys?

Okay Captain Jeremy, Captain Jeremy okay!

Nick

Did you teach 'em how to do that?

Jeremy

I was just havin' a little fun.

Nick

[Referring to the Karen Darling sex tape] Okay... you the guy who bought it?

No, but my boss did... for 3 million dollars.

Nick

Your boss?

Simon Elder. Yeah, he's not the man you think he is. And your boss isn't either.

Nick

[watching the tape] What the hell are they doing?

The Italian Banker.

Nick

How do you know that?

Ah... the reverse Italian Banker.

Nick

They all said no.

Told ya, Patrick made the sex tape. Patrick's lying. Patrick's going to be the next lying President of the United States of lying America.

Nick

[Sarcastically] Thanks.

Karen

I'm sorry.

God, you're a bitch sometimes.

Karen

[Pouting] I know, its a problem.

Karen

Freddy and I have been so overwhelmed with wedding planning that we, um, we need you to go down the City Hall and get our marriage license. You know, do some of that lawyer magic?

Nick

You have to sign the license in person, Karen.

Karen

They haven't changed that law yet?

Nick

No, not yet.

Karen

Not even for regular customers?

Tripp

[about Simon Elder] I'm not a vengeful person Nick. I have endured massive betrayal, and I have responded with patience, and with love. But I will not suffer this man.

Nick

What do you want to do?

Tripp

I want to destroy him. I want that s.o.b. completely and utterly destroyed.

Tish

Karen Darling, you are not going out there and announcing your divorce during your wedding.

Karen

Of course, not. I would never ruin a party.

Nick

Karen, you've been married for less than an hour. Is it possible...?

Karen

I can tell when these things won't work out, Nick. I'm a pro.

Tripp

You look like you could use a drink.

Nick

It's... 9:30 in the morning.

Five days without Nick George? Won't the Darling dynasty crumble in the dust?

Nick

I think so...but it would be very expensive dust.

[to Andrea] I'll give you one million dollars to get up and walk out of here right now.

Excuse me?

Nick

Hey, that's not what we're here to do, Brian. Let me finish.

Two million.

Andrea

Are you trying to buy my son?

I'm trying to buy our son.

Nick

Nobody is buying anybody.

This is ridiculous. We're leaving.

Three million! We both know it's all about the money with you anyway.

Andrea

Now I remember why it didn't work with us. You are not a human being.

Nick

Go ahead.

Tish

After I told him about my affair...Tripp blackmailed my OBGYN. He was sure that the twins weren't his.

Nick

But he was wrong.

Tish

Yes.

Nick

And Brian is my brother?

Tish

Brian is your brother.