Jeremy Darling quotes from Dirty Sexy Money

Juliet

Oh! When did you get back from Tahiti?

Jeremy

Uh... Thirty minutes and six double espressos ago.

Jeremy

[He presents a dollar bill origami sailboat to Nick] Here, give this to Kiki. Tell her I'm sorry I made you late.

Nick

Where'd you learn how to do that?

Jeremy

My coke dealer.

Nick

All right listen, this has been a massive misunderstanding, and I can assure you my client is going to be found innocent of all charges brought against him, so there's no story here. Please excuse us.

Is it true you won the Yacht in a poker game, Jeremy?

Jeremy, how long have you been smuggling people into the country?

Jeremy

I don't know...

Nick

Don't answer that.

Is it true you were planning to harvest their organs?

Nick

You know, that is just dumb. Why say things like that?!

Nick

Look, he doesn't even know these guys.

Jeremy

It's true I've never meet those guys before in my life! Right, guys?

Okay Captain Jeremy, Captain Jeremy okay!

Nick

Did you teach 'em how to do that?

Jeremy

I was just havin' a little fun.

Juliet

I don't need my twin-tuition to see you googling her ass!

Jeremy

Don't you mean ogling--

Juliet

Whatever!

Jeremy

Alright Jules, I'm telling you the truth, okay? I'm, I'm Pluto. I'm cold, distant, and alone.

Juliet

Okay, well speaking of planets.

Jeremy

Pluto is not a planet anymore.

Juliet

It will always be a planet to me.

How'd you get it fixed in 30 minutes?

Jeremy

Bought her a new car and changed the plates. Whens lunch break?