Dad quotes from Dexter's Laboratory

[shouts from his bedroom to the living room] DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!

[calmly] Yes?

I know she is my sister, a girl and the neighbourhood champ, but could you please tell Dee Dee to stop PUMMELLING ME WITH SNOWBALLS?!

[shocked with a gasp] Did you say...snowballs?

Uh...Yeah....

[sadly] They...called me Champ. Back when I had...the gift. [flashes back to his childhood] I was a natural from day one. As I grew, so did my skills. In high school, I was untouchable!

Hey, grow up man!

[voiceover] They were all just jealous! Jealous of my powers! For I was a king, a force of nature, I was the ultimate snowball warrior! Then I went to college. I was never the same again! [remembers being struck by one snowball; flashback ends] That...was the coldest winter...ever... But that's where you come in! You can help me reclaim my title!

Why not just let Dee Dee do it?

No! Her powers are evil. Only as father and son can we truly carry on the legacy. Let the training begin!

I can't look, did he crash? No! No, he did just the opposite, he won! Winning is the part I enjoy most about racing especially when the winner is my son! Congratulations Dexter, you've made me very proud.

Thanks, Dad.

If only your.... [sniffling] older sister Dee Dee were here to see this...

I'm right here, Dad!

Oh, Dee Dee..! Dee Dee, where have you been all these years?!

Right behind you.

Oh, you know I never look back there, ha-ha!

Huh?! No, Monkey! That's not candy! That's boiling lava!

[Hidden in the dark] Dexter. Son, could you come in here for a moment? I need to talk to you.

And just what is it you want?

[steps out of the shadows like Darth Vader] Dexter. I... am your father!

[shocked] That is not possible! Oh wait, no, you're right.

So join me! Come to the Muffin Side. Do not resist. It is your destiny.

Never!

Give us a kiss.

[She replies by pushing him away] Ew! Gross! I don't wanna kiss you! [She leaves]

[dejected] So, what's new?

So, Dexter, where's your new buddy? Oh! Well, hello down there!

Hey! It's the man from before!

Oh!

This one's a lady!

He certainly is friendly.

Oh! Yeah, a little too friendly.

IT'S THE STICK!

[watch beeps] Oh, lunch time! [answers phone] Yes, hello, Burrito Palace? I would like to order a Big Bad Burrito, please. Thank you, goodbye.

Oh, the mother of all Burritos.

Oh, your bunny pajamas! I thought you hated those.

Son, you have given me the greatest gift that has ever been given in the history of gift giving!

You stupid robots! I order you to go out there and be free!

Grrrrr!

[gasps] Dexter, you're naked! [knocks the trophy out Dad's hands, destroying it]

Now look what you did Dee Dee. You clumsy fool!

Grrrrr!

Uh? Well, at least I don't have to worry about the dog destroying my lab.

The planets, the moon, make a wish, I wish for an alien lifeform! [a radioactive rock drops from the sky] Thanks! What you're made of?

Oh, impossible, unless... [gasps] he escapes. Come back here. Gotcha! Drat!

Freeze, FBI! [sprays garden hose on the car, and laughs]

Hi mom, nice blueprint.

[in alien voice] BRUSH YOUR TEETH.

[in alien voice] Nice Blueprint.

Help me with the table.

You say it.

Happy Mother's Day!

New Gloves!

Dexter, what do you have to say for yourself?

Well, I'm sorry I ruined Christmas. Again. But, isn't Christmas really about the family, and the love and the sharing and... Oh, Christmas tree! Oh, Christmas tree!

You blockhead! That's not what Christmas is about!

It's not? Then what is it about?

The presents. Ho ho ho!

Nice uniform. You on some kind of sports team?

Blue Falcon

I'm the Blue Falcon.

Oh, yeah, the Falcons! You guys didn't do so well last season.

Blue Falcon

I'm the Blue Falcon!

Aww, don't be blue!

[chuckles] Oh, come on out, Shy Boy. Here's your little play clothes all fresh and clean. But I just can't understand how you manage to stain your little outfit so quickly.

Yeah, yeah, mom. It's a real enigma. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have much work to be doing. [takes his lab coat and gloves with him and closes the door]

The boy's right, dear. [puts his hands on his wife's hips] There is much work to be doing.

[in his mind] Yuck! Mom's oatmeal! Tastes like barf!

[confused] Huh?

[in his mind while watching Dee Dee scarfing down her oatmeal] That sister of mine! What a ferocious pig!

Hey! I'm no pig!

That is enough Dexter! Time for school.

But wait Dad, what-

The answer is no! Now get!

[in his mind] Dad, what a stubborn poopoo doody head!

I heard that!

And we are going to have a serious talk about your potty mouth when you get home from school today!