Rude Dexter quotes from Dexter's Laboratory

You can be this guy!

What?!

Well, it seems Hodo the furry-footed burrower has joined in our quest!

I don't wanna be no furry-footed burrower.

I unsheath my deadly...mandolin?!

Okay, say we're stranded alone on an island. Do you have any skills that would come in handy, bachelor number 4?

I'd dig holes.

[whispering] Here are my selections for today, Ms. L.

My, my, Dexter. What a big stack you have. Why, Dexter, you're quite the little scholar. [She pinches Dexter's cheek]

[whispering] Aw, shucks.

Oh, brother.

You know, if you keep this reading up, you'll be the patron of the month all of next year too. I don't think even Einstein himself was such an avid reader as you, Dexter. [Dee Dee reaches her hand up the stack of books and takes one of them down] No television, no donuts for you. I bet it's just all study, study, study day and night. Well, Dexter, I think you're all set. There you go.

[whispering] Thank you, Ms. L. Come on, Dee Dee.

Hey, Dex! There's no pictures in this book!

[whispering] Dee Dee! Come on!

But you forgot...

[whispering]Dee Dee!

You forgot to check out!

[whispering]Move it or lose it, sister!

Now I am going in. You just lower me down on this rope and I return the book. And remember: This is a library mission, so keep quiet!

[loudly] Okey dokey!

[sigh] Hold this. [He hands Dee Dee one end of the rope and dives into the library]

Back sure hurts! [A butterfly flies in and Dee Dee is dazzled by it] Pretty. [She lets go of the rope and chases after the butterfly and Dexter starts falling]

Dee Dee? [He falls]

[quietly] How did you...? Wha...? How did you get...? That's it! I've had it with your monkey business!

But...

QUIET!

[whispering] Warning. Noise level exceeded.

Whoops.

Dee Dee! Did you see the disgusting spook-fish that almost killed me?

No. I just like to run around and scream real loud!

[ghostly voice] Dexter! Dexter! Where are you?! Help me! Help me!

Dee Dee, are you playing tricks? [shakes fearfully] Hiding in the closet trying to scare me?

[ghostly voice] Dexter! The toilet! The toilet!

Dee Dee! [Dee Dee is flushed down into the toilet bowl] No! Dee Dee, come back! Dee Dee, I'm ordering you to come out of this toilet!

[her apparition appears in the shower] Dexter, help me! I am trapped in the Sewer Beyond!

No, you're not! I just saw you go down the toilet!

Listen to me! There's lots of bad fishies and stuff here and they won't let me go! They won't rest until Fishy is on the other side! You've got to flush Fishy, Dexter!

[tries to reach Fishy's corpse] Can't reach! It's no use! My arms, they are too short!

Come on, genius boy! Figure it out!

[grabs a toilet plunger and pulls Dee Dee out. The apparition of Dee Dee disappears from the shower and Dee Dee is freed] Dee Dee, flush the fish, NOW!

Whew! I'm sure glad that's over. Huh?

LOOK OUT! EGAD!

Help me! Dexter, it's pulling me back, and they're angry, Dexter, REAL ANGRY!

[grabs the handle trying to pull Dee Dee free] Why?! We flushed the stupid fish!

Its soul, Dexter! It's still in the trap! [the Apparition Containment Unit shakes up with a WARNING signal active in Dexter's room] DO SOMETHING! [Dexter reaches for the fishing rod and grabs it just as the toilet begins flushing her down] HEEEEEEEELP!

How many times have I told you? Early morning is daddy's special bathroom privacy time. [Upon the flash of lightning, he gains golden glowing eyes with slit pupils and sharp teeth and laughs maniacally]

You crazy girl! Look what you've done!

Not to worry boys. [to Dee Dee] Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU. Thank you.

Hey! Hey! Hey! What's happening here, Professor?

Oh, now, boys, hold on. It's very simple. You see, for the past several years I focused on brain power leading my body to wither. But this young princess reminded me how important my body was, with her innocence and naivety.

Princess?! But what about the mysterious grand prize?

Mmm-hmm. You're right. I've got it! Let's have dance contest. Whoever wins, wins the factory!

[shouts from his bedroom to the living room] DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!

[calmly] Yes?

I know she is my sister, a girl and the neighbourhood champ, but could you please tell Dee Dee to stop PUMMELLING ME WITH SNOWBALLS?!

[shocked with a gasp] Did you say...snowballs?

Uh...Yeah....

[sadly] They...called me Champ. Back when I had...the gift. [flashes back to his childhood] I was a natural from day one. As I grew, so did my skills. In high school, I was untouchable!

Hey, grow up man!

[voiceover] They were all just jealous! Jealous of my powers! For I was a king, a force of nature, I was the ultimate snowball warrior! Then I went to college. I was never the same again! [remembers being struck by one snowball; flashback ends] That...was the coldest winter...ever... But that's where you come in! You can help me reclaim my title!

Why not just let Dee Dee do it?

No! Her powers are evil. Only as father and son can we truly carry on the legacy. Let the training begin!

I can't look, did he crash? No! No, he did just the opposite, he won! Winning is the part I enjoy most about racing especially when the winner is my son! Congratulations Dexter, you've made me very proud.

Thanks, Dad.

If only your.... [sniffling] older sister Dee Dee were here to see this...

I'm right here, Dad!

Oh, Dee Dee..! Dee Dee, where have you been all these years?!

Right behind you.

Oh, you know I never look back there, ha-ha!

Huh?! No, Monkey! That's not candy! That's boiling lava!

Hey Dexter, looks like we're next. Dexter?!

Oh boy! Oh boy! We're next!

[narrating] Dexter, I have hidden your funny glowy thing! Now you have to find it! Just follow the clues! Won't this be fun?

Dee Dee! She does not realize the danger she has caused! If I do not retrieve the nuclear core in 1 hour, it will meltdown, causing a chain reaction which will destroy the Earth! And I won't be able to read my book! [runs] No time to waste!

[reads] Clue #1. Apple, cherry, blueberry. R squared. Which pie holds the next clue? [tries to touch the pie]

Dexter?

Yipe! [turns to mom]

Ah... If you wanted some pie, all you have to do is ask. Which flavour do you want?

One of each.