Rude Dexter quotes from Dexter's Laboratory

[singing sadly as the spotlight shines on him] This is not fantasy. This is reality. [talking] I'm stuck for my life! I'm stuck and I'll be stuck forever! With...my sister... [Yelling] Dee Dee!

Ah, here we are. 701.328. [gasps] Hello! What is this?! "Green Bacon and Eggs"! What is a children's book doing in coelacanth paleobiology? [gets enraged]

Take it! Give it to me in the past or I may not have a future! [Dee Dee turns the knob to the past] Dee Dee, you have to be inside the machine!

Like this? [then disappears from the machine]

I'm doomed...

It is up to you Dee Dee's! [the monster shakes salt on Dexter and eats him] Use my time machine! Go back into...the past...and give me this message...!

Message! You mean this message?

[reads the note] "Dexter, do not open the interdimensional doorway there's a monster inside. Best wishes, Dexter." But this is the message I just wrote! That means that I...That she...That this...WAIT! [the Dee Dee's both disappeared in the machine] I'm doomed.

What exactly are you making Dee Dee?

A pie

By any chance that wouldn't be a POISON PIE! would it?

No. [Pours flour into the mixing bowl]

What is that white stuff that you are adding in?

Flour.

Aha! Flowers are for smelling they are not for eating. Poison!

Not poison, flour. Now go sit down and let me finish. Hmm, let's see [Dee Dee reads a mud pie recipe and grabs a handful of mud from a flower box and puts it into the mixing bowl]

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy I can hardly wait! [Dee Dee serves the pie in front of Dexter and Dexter takes a bite of it] Light flaky crust, rich taste, but I can't quite place the flavor, is it chocolate?

No.

Poison berry?

No.

I give up, what is it?

Mud.

Oh mud, I would have never guessed. Mud?! [Dexter spits it out]

[Hands his excuse note to the "Coach" and happily walks away] If you need me, I'll be in the Science Lab.

What's this crap?

[Turns around in shock] Who are you?

I'm your Substitute Coach.

But, But, But...

QUIET!

But my excuse!

[Rips the excuse letter in half] What Excuse?! Now! Suit up!

[sweetly] Assistant?

Yes?

Would you please assist me by...SHUTTING UP!?

[singsong] I ate your cookies! I ate your cookies! [blows a raspberry, turns on one foot and sticks her costume's tail in Dexter's face; she then ballet dances until she suddenly notices one of her arms then the other bursting out of her rat costume, which appear to be abnormally large and elongated; she then bursts out of the rat costume as a whole and starts growing to an immense size, with Dexter watching in dismay] Ooh, [points at the city] what's over there? [walks to the city just as Dexter heads out of the front door to watch his giantess sister entering the city]

[while jumping for joy] At last! With my sister gone, my intellectual pursuits shall be uninhibited! [walks toward the house then closes the front door]

[laughs at Dexter's speech for wanting to be Major Glory's sidekick]

And what is so humorous about that? [Dee Dee continues laughing] Dee Dee stop this laughing this instant!

Okay, okay Dexter, don't get your underwear into a wrinkle. Look...You're my brother and all so I'll be honest with ya...[amused] You've gotta be kidding me! [seriously] You don't got what it takes. Just look at ya...[measures Dexter] You're two foot nothing. [camera zooms on Dexter's glasses] You can barely see [puts her arm around Dexter's shoulder] and besides everything...You're a dork! [smiles]

[yells in frustration]

And I suppose you've got what it takes to be a superhero's sidekick?

[shrugs] Of course. I've got style, pizzazz, and I can kick some. Well, you know. [Dexter opens his mouth to talk] Yes?

[drops it] Forget it. [walks upstairs] There's nothing more to be said. I will be Major Glory's sidekick and you will not.

[shouts upstairs] That's what you think Dexter!

No, Dee Dee! That is what I know.

'Master Computer?' Wow dad, thanks, a video game... An OLD video game...

Well, I know how much you like gadgets and stuff, Dexter, but what you've got there is more than just a video game: It's a bargain! Got it for a nickel from a gypsy!

Hello!

Dee Dee, get off the phone!

Okay, but I'm still trying to find whatever it was I was looking for.

Great, okay, bye.

Bye!

Bye.

Bye!

BYE!

Hey, Dexter! You talkin' to our girls?

[desperate] Omelette du fromage! Omelette du fromage.

Hey, whoa, slow down, buddy. I didn't know it was like that, man.

[enraged at Dee Dee] WHY DO YOU DO THIS?! YOU ARE SO STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! Oh, and let's not forget...YOU'RE SO STUPID!

Ow! [Rubs her face] Oh yeah!? Well just because I know how to have fun doesn't mean I'm stupid! I may not know all that scientifical makna logical stuff, but I know how to climb a tree, and I know how to pet a kitty just right. And I know how to tie my own shoes Mr zipper boot!... Actually, I feel sorry for you, Dexter. You're like a pickle - sour, and all bottled up in your laboratory. Toiling away alone in the dark, searching for answers to questions nobody asked. Locked away from the world, never to experience the true mysteries of life. Well, you can keep your cold, sterile little lab, because for me, the world is my laboratory! Goodbye, Dexter. I shan't impose on you ever again.

DEE DEE! [sadly] Everything you said was true! I don't want to be a pickle! But I need your help. Show me the way to be free, show me the way of the Dee Dee!

Discard those ravlings which tie you to the lab. [Dexter looks down at his clothes] There must be a stripping of the old, before you start anew. [The next shot shows Dexter in just his underwear and gloves, in a nervous "Ta-Da!" pose] AND the gloves. [He reluctantly pulls them off] Now step into the light.

But, I don't have any sunscreen.

Do not fear, little one. The first step is always the hardest.

Ants are...

Stinky Hat!

To be respected.

Stinky Hat!

To be respected.

Stinky Hat!

To be respected.