Dexter Morgan quotes from Dexter

Angel Batista

Sounds like she got what she had coming to her. Personally, I'd like to shake the guy's hand.

Dexter

[Voiceover] Sure, you say that now...

Dexter

When'd you first notice it? This darkness inside the guy you fell for?

Rita

Well, I always knew it was there. I guess I just didn't think I deserved better – until I met you.

Dexter

I have a dark side, too. [Rita laughs] What? I do.

Rita

Somehow, I doubt that. You have a good heart, Dexter. You're not like Paul; you don't hurt people.

Dexter

[another pause] Innocent people. I don't hurt innocent people.

Dexter

The Ice-Truck Killer drains the blood from his victims, freezes the bodies, and only then severs their limbs. It's clean and efficient, that's his psychological signature. Neil Perry, on the other hand, stuffs roadkill.

Debra

Yeah! And turns 'em into fucked up fantasy shit.

Dexter

But the fantasies are all wrong! The guy we're looking for wouldn't turn dead dirty things into living cartoons, he'd find that pathetic.

Debra

How do you know?

Dexter

[pause] Because it is pathetic.

Rita

[about Paul] Fucking bastard!

Dexter

Only you could make those words cute.

Dexter

You killed again. I told you, I warned you. Don't kill anyone who doesn't deserve to die. Why did you do it?

To feel something different.

Dexter

Different than what? What do you normally feel?

Nothing. Fucking nothing at all. I hate every fucking goddamn second of it. I can't stand it – living my life in my head.

Dexter

Does killing make it better?

No. Worse. Fucking worse than ever.

Dexter

I'm a lot like you, you know.

[scoffs] Yeah, right. You're a killer?

Dexter

[gives him a look] I'm empty. But I found a way to make it feel less ... bottomless.

How?

Dexter

Pretend. You pretend the feelings are there, for the world, for the people around you. Who knows? Maybe one day they will be.

Dexter

[at a crime scene] What are we looking at here?

Angel Batista

I'm thinking two circus clowns dancing. You?

Dexter

Nah, looks like a lobster. See the claws?

Angel Batista

Why do bloodstains always look like crustaceans to you?

Dexter

I like seafood.

Angel Batista

Rorschach would say you have a hard time relating to others.

Meridian? Best thing that's ever happened to me ... so far. How about you? You finding him helpful?

Dexter

I'm a sociopath; there's not much he can do for me.

Cute and funny. Let me guess, taken?

Dexter

Girlfriend.

Lucky girl.

Dexter

I'm going to tell you something that I've never told anyone before.

Okay.

Dexter

I'm a serial killer. [pause] Oh God. That feels ... so amazing to say out loud.

Well, you must be letting go, 'cause I've never heard you make a joke before.

Dexter

I'm not joking; I kill people. Whoo. There it is again. [pause] You should try it. I know -- your big bad wolf has racked up a tidy little death toll.

Vince

Masuka.

Dexter

Hey, it's Dexter Morgan.

Vince

Dude, I know your last name.

Dexter

Yeah, I need a favor. A DNA comparison.

Vince

I thought you were away for the weekend with the girlfriend. What, is she surfing the crimson wave?

Doakes

Morgan, get your ass over here.

Dexter

Ass en route.

Debra

Dexter, heads up. Bad in there.

Dexter

Okay.

Debra

I'm serious.

Dexter

Okay.

Doakes

She's not kidding. It's your wet dream in there!

Dexter

Okay ...

Maybe you should open it.

Dexter

What if there's an airborne toxin in here waiting to be released?

I've got to wash my hands. [rushes past]

Dexter

So gullible. ... It's definitely blood.

Rudy

I mean, Deb's hot and all, but sprinkle in a little conversation once in a while, you know?

Dexter

Well, she's my sister. I don't know.

Rita

Where were you?

Dexter

Taking out the trash.

Doakes

You just found out that somebody who's supposed to be your friend is going to live. Does that make you feel anything? Anything at all? [grabbing Dexter's shoulder]

Dexter

Take your fucking hand off me.

Doakes

Just what I always thought.