Dexter Morgan quotes from Dexter

I just wanted to have a beer with you before we got started. Made that kind of difficult.

Dexter

Sorry.

You don't ever have to apologize to me, Dexter. Not for who you are, or anything you do.

Looks just like it used to, doesn't it?

Dexter

Who does it belong to?

Me. I got it for you, actually.

Dexter

I'm really more an apartment person.

Your victims. Are they all killers?

Dexter

Yes.

Harry teach you that?

Dexter

He taught me a code. To survive.

Like an ... absurd avenger?

Dexter

That's not why I kill.

You can be yourself around me. Who. Am. I?

Dexter

A killer. Without reason or regret. Free.

You can be that way too.

Dexter

But the code ...

[laughs] Dex! You don't have a code. Harry did. Now he's been dead ten years. You can't keep – keep him sitting on your shoulder like Jiminy Fucking Cricket! You need to embrace who you are now.

Dexter

I don't know who I am.

'Course you don't. You've been away from your family since you were three. But I'm here now. I can help you. We can take this journey together.

Dexter

I can't. Not Deb ...

No – no, don't say that.

Dexter

I'm very ... fond of her.

You can't be a killer and a hero. It doesn't work that way!

Rita

Deb must be a mess. I mean, falling for a serial killer?

Dexter

What are the odds?

Rita

You might even find I can handle the truth.

Dexter

[voiceover] I wish that was the case.

Doakes

Surprise, motherfucker!

Dexter

Are you following me now?

Doakes

You better have a hell of a reason for being here.

Dexter

I'm looking for my sister.

Doakes

In a cargo box?

Dexter

Yeah. I'm kinda working on a theory.

Doakes

You forget your work for the fucking cops!? We love theories! Come on! Spin me a story, asshole!

Masuka

Keep your mind limber.

Dexter

I'm doing mental jumping jacks.

Dexter

[thoughts] With Doakes following me, my life has been all Jekyll and no Hyde. No moonlit playdates. No late night social calls. Not one. My brother would be so disappointed.

Angel

Don't forget! Tell the universe what you really need!

Dexter

[thoughts] I really need ... to kill somebody.

Dexter

Hey, Sergeant. Thanks for supporting the bowling team.

Doakes

Fuck you.

Doakes

So, titty site?

Dexter

Oops. You caught me.

Doakes

Bullshit. What were you really doing in here?

Dexter

[pointing to the laptop screen] The tits are right there.

Doakes

Yeah. But in ten years, you've never rented a single porn title.

Masuka

All right, call it – heads or tails?

Dexter

Heads.

Masuka

I didn't flip yet!

Dexter

You said call it.

Dexter

You've been benched?

Debra

Yeah, LaGuerta's just jealous that the Ice Truck Killer fucked me instead of her.

Dexter

Wow... You're chipper

Dexter

I need your help. I know how much you were looking forward to going out tonight, but I think Deb could use you more.

Rita

Dexter, this ... isn't about this morning, is it?

Dexter

No, no! I swear! This is about Deb. She had her first day at work today, and LaGuerta was kind of rough on her.

Debra

Dexter, unlock the door.

Dexter

[to Rita] Hold on. [to Debra] Hold on!

Debra

Dexter, come on! Dexter, open the fucking door!

Dexter

[to Rita] See, she's yelling at me now. Look, I'm no expert, but I think Deb could use some girl time tonight.

Rita

Well, I won't lie. I'm a little disappointed. But, I know your heart's in the right place.

Dexter

Absolutely.

Dexter

I forgot that I had promised to sub for another bowling team.

Debra

Why do you look so happy about it?

Dexter

...I like bowling, what can I say? Look will you take Rita out for me? She hired a babysitter and everything.

Debra

No way, I need to work out.

Dexter

Actually, you need to stop working out. It's getting unhealthy. You should go out for some hard liquor instead.

Debra

[starts running] Sorry bro.

Dexter

Deb, please! When do I ever ask you for anything?

Debra

[stops running] You bung hole. Why did you have to put it that way?

Dexter

She's expecting you in half an hour. You're a life saver!

Masuka

Eight confirmed.

Dexter

Eight confirmed? Here?

Angel

No. Here is just one.

Masuka

We're talking eight confirmed victims of the Bay Harbor Butcher.

Dexter

The Bay Harbor ... Butcher?

Masuka

That's what the press is calling whoever dumped those bodies off shore. Has a nice ring to it, no?

Dexter

Well, it's a little ... lurid.

Angel

Lurid and possibly wrong. Part of me's hoping they found the Ice Truck Killer's dumping ground.

Dexter

Tell me about it. Last thing Miami needs is another serial killer.