Desperate Housewives · Season 2
“You Could Drive A Person Crazy” · Season 2
In this episode: Gabrielle Solis (2), Carlos Solis (2), Susan Delfino (1), Julie (1)
Be careful, Carlos. Up until now, I've been really lonely in that big bed of ours, but when you're rude to me, it makes me wanna be not so lonely.
Comments like that are exactly why you'll never again have access to my money.
Why are all rich men jerks?
Same reason all beautiful women are bitches.
(pause)
So, same time tomorrow?
Sure, baby.
What do you mean, you know?
I mean, I know.
What are you saying, that your father actually told you he was gonna be having a one night stand with Edie Britt?
Uh, mom, this wasn't a one night stand. He's been going out with Mrs. Britt for a few months now.
What?! How could you not tell me that? We share everything. That's what we're known for. That's our thing.
Because I knew you'd wig out. Besides, haven't you always told me to respect people's privacy?
Oh, I've never applied that concept to your father's sex life, and you know it.
Are you done?"
No! I have not even begun ripping into Edie Britt yet. Oh, that peroxide vulture. As know as sure as I am standing here that she went after your father just to tick me off.
Wrong again.
What?
He asked her out.
You lie.
It's true. He called her for a date six months ago. The day after my birthday party.
The one at the piano bar?
Yeah. What is it?
Oh, um... Your father just came over that day and told me some stuff. You know, some stuff that I haven't, and can't tell you.
Wait, whatever happened to 'We share everything'? Isn't that our thing, what we're known for?
Um, actually, I think what we're known for is sharing clothes. Yeah, I think that's our thing.
(heard from Carlos about a guy demanding money) Honey, I think this is a mistake. If we give in to extortion, the guy's just gonna keep coming back for more money.
What choice do I have?
You're a strong guy. You went to college on an athletic scholarship, for God's sakes.
Yeah. It was for golf!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Desperate Housewives pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
