Where'd you get the gun?
AAlex
eBay.
Really?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I wish you'd stop huffing, you'll use up all the air.
It's not a submarine, you specimen. Do you understand how air works?
You've just wasted more air!
Do you even understand what is going on here or is the whole world just colours and shapes and the occasional noise in your head?!
Zombie Davina bangs on the door
Oh, stay out of it.
I am surviving, and it's not easy.
AAlex
What've you done? You've done nothing.
I've had a van stolen. I've been chased. I've slept in a garage and been shot at!
AAlex
"At"? have you shot anyone? Have you had to do that yet?
No.
AAlex
Have you shot your best friend. Have you done that? Have you pulled the trigger and seen your best friend's head explode? And walked about in a dream with her blood running down your face and in your mouth picking shards of skull from your jumper like cat's teeth? Have you done that?
No, can't say I have.
AAlex
Well don't talk about surviving until you have.
Marky's seen himself on the cover of Heat Magazine
Whoah, check it out! Front cover of Heat!
He reads the accompanying headlines
"Rubbish in bed"? what the... "Desperate Fumble"? ... You don't half get a load of shit in that magazine.
Two policemen have stopped Space outside the supermarket
PPolice1
You're that fella off Big Brother ain't ya? Yeah, it is! [to his colleague] It's that sort-of black one. [To Space] You know you're shorter in real life?
PPolice2
Well, he's on his knees.
Veronica is showering. Joplin is watching her from the camera runs
I know you're there, Joplin. You should have just asked for a quick flash; it being the end of the world and all, I might have felt sorry for you. But you didn't, which is a shame because what you're doing is a bit creepy, isn't it?
Joplin leaves quietly
[To Pippa] Glad you applied?
They're gonna keep pouring in from outside if we don't shut the gate, so we might as well do it while we're here. Seize the day and shit.
OK.
Kelly and Marky look at Space
Well, I'm the driver, innit?
Good old British Public.
Why do they keep coming towards the house?
Glad they do, makes them easier to pick off.
Yeah, but why?
Some kind of primitive intuition, maybe. They feel the need to be near us. Don't forget, this place was like a church to them.
Maybe they can smell bullshit.
Patrick is disassembling a lamp so he can use its base as a weapon
That's our light machine!
It's not a machine, it's a lamp.
Well, it lights up the room.
Well... (turns off lamp) it's dead now!
(disgusted) It's bad for the environment, wasting light.
I'm not wasting it, I'm turning it into something else.
What, like, recycling?
(exasperated) ...if you like.
Patrick is coaching Pippa on his plan to kill the zombie Davina with the lamp base
Listen to me. Stand there, you put your hand on the handle... put your hand on the fucking handle!
(traumatised, near tears) I don't like it...
Shut up and listen. You're gonna open that door, and you are gonna slam it, fucking SLAM IT on her, when she is halfway in. Do you understand what halfway is? Do you understand? Say "yes, I understand"!
(still traumatised) Yes!
Patrick Then are you ready?
(crying, quiet and high voice) I don't like it...
It's either this, or we take it in turns shitting in the bin until we starve to death. Does that appeal? (Pippa shakes head) No? Then are you ready? (shouting) DO NOT FUCK THIS UP, alright?
Patrick has terminated the Zombie Davina
My God, you've killed Davina!
I hired her, I can do what I like.
The housemates are talking about things that have ended because of the zombie outbreak
Doctor Who.
Who cares? It's a kids' show.
No it's not.
It's one thing picking them off from the roof, it's another heading out there.
Says the man with the gun to the man with the pointy stick.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dead Set pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.