37 minutes to go, minions! [pause] Do you know what a minion is? Don't look offended then.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
An aide approaches Patrick with a phone
What are you for?
AAide
It's, um, Sophie.
[into phone] Tell me you are round the corner.
SSophie
Sorry Patrick, we've had a 'mare; all the main roads were chocka. Carl's trying to work some back-road magic now so...
[Interrupting] You were supposed to be here [looks at watch] fuckin' three hours ago.
[Watching news report on 'rioting'] Why do people riot anyway? It's not the eighties! They should stay in and watch telly.
I'm in Arse-end on Tweed trying to get a train home.
DDavina
You are live on Channel 4, please do not swear.
Bollocks!
Joplin has literally worn that shirt the whole fucking time. Imagine what that smells like.
[Watching Pippa on the monitor] I cannot imagine living next-door to people like that.
Something's wrong. No mics, no alarms and the cameras ain't movin'... Big Brother ain't watching us.
Kelly tells the housemates what's happening
This is quality. Hammer House of Horseshit.
[After smashing a zombie's head into pieces] The head. You gotta get them in the head.
This... This is not happening. And if it is, it is not happening to me!
[The housemates see the zombies feasting on the dead]
Gotta be some terrorist bollocks, they've released some... loony gas.
Loony gas?
The government or army must've tested something they shouldn't.
What, like GM foods or something?
[with a mobile phone] How do you turn this thing on? Fucking robot bollocks.
I think we should stay here till the police come.
Yeah? maybe you should compile a book of your fucking theories!
Give us a fag.
Short supply.
You've got sixty hidden under your bed.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dead Set pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.