George quotes from Dead Like Me

George

Who had the nerve to name you "Joy"?

George

[voiceover] They say your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the moment before you die? That might be true if you're terminally ill, or your parachute doesn't open…

George

[voiceover] … but if death sneaks up on you, the only thing you have time to think is…

George

Aw, shit.

George

[voiceover] I didn't know what was more disturbing: being dead or the fact that the first man to touch my naked body was a coroner.

George

[voiceover] Everyone always says the same shit at funerals... they talk about how sweet, wonderful, and oh-so-full-of-life you were, how it was your time and you can't question God's plan... they never say anything bad. You could be the biggest turd in the toilet bowl and you'd still come out smelling like a rose.

George

That's Roxy. She could kick your ass.

George

I've been dead for seven days. Okay, that's a little dramatic.

George

[voice over] One desperate attempt after another to find something in common with someone else and then cling. “Hey, you have ten fingers, I have ten fingers, let's be friends. We'll make rules and slogans. Then if we find someone with nine fingers, we can beat the crap out of them.”

George

This is my work related scrapbook. [She opens to a page and points.] These are bone fragments I found in a telephone pole next to an exploded high voltage transformer. [Turns to another page.] And, this is from that nuclear reactor incident. I think it's a testicle!

George

[voiceover] I felt something I had never felt before - a hand on my ass. Who the hell was cupping my ass? Probably that perv from I.S. [Looks at Delores] Oh God, I hope it was that perv from I.S. I also felt something else... that in some strange undead way, I was alive. I was flying.

George

[voiceover] I'm not a big fan of weddings, but a job is a job. So I sat there watching those 50 happy people gathered to celebrate a marriage, dressed in their Sunday best, about to hear some priest's flowery words about the joining together of two souls, uniting as one... blah, blah, blah, blah... until death do them part, which would be in about 11 minutes.

George

My mother was more excited about me going to college than I was. It was like "Hey, here's a socially acceptable way to evict my daughter from our house."

George

[voiceover] As you get older, the chance of making a really good new friend is probably about the same as being hit by a truck. And if you're hit by a truck (which is to say, dead) the chances of making a good friend are even slimmer.

George

[voiceover] Human beings are simple, predictable clichés. Broken hearts, betrayal, it's all been done a billion times before. The problem is, every time still hurts like the first. And if you're lucky enough to recover, you can be sure that just as you finish filling in all the cracks in your life, the next one is starting to open.

George

[voiceover] Maybe death was the temp job, and life was the vacation. A vacation you were supposed to spend with the people that you loved… with the people who loved you, and if life was that kind of vacation, what then? What would your last thoughts be then?

George

[voiceover] The day I dropped out of college, I remember lying on my bed. My mother came into my room, and she'd been crying. She stared at me for a long time and then she said, "You only have one shot at life, Georgia. This is no dress rehearsal." And I said, "You know what, Mom? Maybe I don't even want to be in the play." A month later I was killed. I wonder sometimes if someone was listening.