I've been dead for seven days. Okay, that's a little dramatic.
You know what your problem is? You wake up every morning wondering what the world's gonna do for you, wondering who's gonna bend over backwards, kiss your ass and make you happy when you should just thank God for another day and leave it the fuck at that.
Sir, I'm going to say this as politely as possible. I will fuck you up.
Well, you really fucked the dog, Peanut.
What?
What? You had an appointment.
I didn't make an appointment.
Beat her.
Doesn't matter who made the appointment. You had an appointment.
Correct me if I'm wrong but- mission accomplished.
You're wrong. That was me correcting you.
I'm confused.
He's still in there, you silly bitch.
[Flashback to the dead man's soul screaming as he is forced to watch his own autopsy.]
Holy shit! Is he in pain?
Physically, no. He's dead. But emotionally, I imagine this sort of thing is pretty traumatic.
You like spaghetti, George? I like spaghetti. I like board games. I like grabbing a trifecta with that long shot on top... that ozone smell you get from air purifiers... and I like knowing the space between my ears is immeasurable... Mahler's first, Bernstein conducting. You've got to think about all the things you like and decide whether they're worth sticking around for. And if they are, you'll find a way to do this.
And what if I don’t?
Then you go away, and you don't get to like anything anymore.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dead Like Me pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.