QSQuozmir's mom
Herbert, what do you say we destroy the northern half of the continent, huh?
I love a happy ending!
Happy ending? They're gonna destroy half a continent!
Yeah, but not the half we live in.
Good point.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Dawn in Udrogoth: a time for all barbarian heroes, and their trusty dragons, to rise and begin their mighty action-packed adventures!
What a lovely day to draw sap for pancake syrup!
There's only one way to show true love: we must... [shouting] shop!
Anyway, the reason we called is, we hid the Magical Grape of Bobo-Be-Dobo in Faffy's room, and we need you to send it to us or this giant ice monster's gonna freeze the entire world. Okay? Hello? You still there? Hello?
Lookin' for something, darlin'?
I-
We got that. Whaddya want? Tooth extractor? Rump whistle? Spiked helmet? Spiked boots? Spiked toilet paper? Oh, I got just the thing: a diseased weasel!
But while trying to feed Carl the nosegrub, Dave fails to notice the little weasel's eyes darting about. Seeking something. Seeking... the hiding place of the Magical Grape of Bobo-Be-Dobo! But to what end? Can there be more to Carl than meets the eye? [Carl farts.] Well, there certainly can't be less!
[Carl, the diseased weasel, reveals himself to be The Dark Lord Chuckles the Silly Piggy in disguise.]
Bejabbers! It's... oh, what's your name? D-d-don't tell me. Does it start with a J?
The Dark Lord Chuckles the Silly Piggy!
I asked you not to tell me!
[The Dark Lord Chuckles swallows the Magical Grape, and transforms.]
Ah-hahahaha! Fear the mighty, devastating, bloodthirsty... Kitten? Okay, this is really not what I had in mind.
Ow! Quit it! That stings! Pathetic dragon, I'll defeat you with ease, and- [Faffy flies in to Chuckles' throat] Wow! That was even with more ease than I thought it'd be... with.
[Chuckles has been cooked and prepared to be eaten for Faffy.]
I warn you: I'm very high in cholesterol!
[Faffy slobbers and drools at the sight.]
Don't worry. Faffy won't really eat him. 'Tis but a merry jest! Good night, and drive safely!
Look what I bought! It lets you listen to music wherever you go! They call it: a walkminstrel!
WWalkminstrel
[Singing badly] My love is like a red, red rose, but she doesn't smell as good...
What is it!? A spider!? Is something burning!? Is it on me!? I don't see it! Is it invisible!? Are invisible spiders crawling on me and burning!?
[Lula reminisces about her first barbarian.]
We were great together, like mayonnaise and... more mayonnaise... So I like mayonnaise, so what!?
[Lula speaks to Argon]
You're that one... sword, right?
[In a flashback where Argon leaves Lula, Argon builds a snowman and uses Lula as the snowman's nose.]
Woah, rockin' snowman!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dave the Barbarian pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.