Oh, there must be something lower than F-minus. Z! Z! Z! Z! Z! Z! Z!
Here's the plan: we changes our names, move to a distant island, and disguise ourselves as a family of travelling donkey polishers.
Is this before or after we beat Dave to a pulp?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Psych! No way man! Later we're gonna sneak up and skin you with a clam shell. [Family cracks knuckles]
I like clams.
[Dave finds out about the final test in the Rite of Pillage.]
Penmanship? [Singing.] Look out people, here I come!
Mighty is his ink, and flawless his calligraphy! Ne'er has such a feat of penmanship been witnessed in the history of mankind! And his spelling is good, too.
[Fang questions why penmanship counts for 70% of Dave's final grade.]
I know, but the whole Rite of Pillage thing is sponsored by a pen company. D-minus!
[Candy gripes about ruling as a princess, and points oud that Dave wasn't given "the dumb job."]
No. But if they had, I would bear the burden with grace, dignity, and style. Also, I'd redo the throne room in a polynesian motif.
[Dave's second proclamation as King.]
Henceforth, every Saturday will be Udrogoth Spirit Day. All subjects will wear the kingdom's official colors: red, a slightly darker red, and another red a lot like the first one, but more sort of... salmony.
DDinky
I hate your brother's stupid Spirit Day law. Red is so not my color. It makes me look slain.
[Dave proclaims that all cats in the kingdom must be shaved.]
It was going okay until I started shaving his belly.
Yeah, they look pretty cute 'til they get mad, huh?
You've gotta stop passing all these stupid laws! Everybody's really mad at you! Especially the cats.
[A rock with a note tied to it breaks through a window. Dave catches and reads it.]
It says, "Meow".
And they mean it.
I'll show them! Heads will roll! Excrutiating punishments will be enacted! Wedgies will be given!
[Dave orders all subjects to attend the opening day of his musical, "Oh, Pastry!"]
"Every subject must attend?" But if we go, the kingdom will be unguarded against invaders.
Nope. See, it says, "All invaders must attend as well".
Wow, the king thinks of everything.
[The intro to Dave's musical.]
[Singing.] With all the suffering in the world... that makes us feel sad, or irate... One thing still fills us all with joy and starchy carbohydrates... Pastry, why the heck are you so tasty?
[Chuckles struggles getting the Enchanted Throne of Udrogoth to make him king.]
Now make me king, or I'll reupholster you in a really ugly plad!
[Another scene in Dave's musical.]
Alas, poor danish, what is thy filling? Well, who knows better than the danish prince!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dave the Barbarian pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.